#they want a new and unique show but cant ever have it actually be daring

[sevenines]

ive never seen this before. what the fuck. why? "you can make your gay wedding as long as the queer character isn't the leader anymore. the boy has to be the leader." what??

[xoxo-nikki-xoxo]

Bewitched

Elijah Mikaelson × Female Reader

Prompts number 21 22 "Tell me... if you love me or not. If not I'll leave you alone forever" and "You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love you"

Authors note: I totally based this fic off of Jane Austins Pride and Prejudice. Elijah just totally give me Mr. Darcy vibes. Sorry if you don’t understand that reference. So this fic to by best of abilities is going to be written in the time line of the late 17th century and early 18th century. FYI sorry if this sucks, i truly did try my best.

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Words cant even descried how your feelings for Elijah Mikaelson has changed in the course of only a few months. From when you first met him he was so stuck up, egotistical, and well complete and utterly rude. But it was I that was wrong about him. For Mr. Mikaelson pride might be what you see be wrong, but its for his pride that makes him unique. 

Sitting on the porch engulfed in a bool as I usual am, I received word of a visitor. For it is Miss. Mikaelson arriving by carriage.

“ Dear Miss. y/n, you must come with me at once! I know you have already received your invitation to our ball this evening, but i need if if you are not to busy. It was my wretched bother Kol! He ruined my beautiful ball gowned now i must go fetch myself a new one! With this being announced i need your assistance to help me pick out the 2nd best. And I thought well we were at is we pick out a new dress for you.”  Rebekah say as she steps out of the carriage with the help of the carriage driver.

“ O Rebekah darling you know i well help you select a new gowned. But i don’t think i can accept-” 

“ Don’t finish that sentence we are picking new dresses out and that’s final. Wheres your mother? I surly must say hello before i take you for the rest of the afternoon” she says as she makes her way up onto the porch. The Mikaelson family has been staying in New Orleans for about 6 months now. Your first glimpse of the family was of course arranged by your family, more so your mother then father. But that’s when your friendship with the youngest Mikaelson truly took off. Of course by the moment you where introduced to Niklaus, Elijah and Kol, you were taken back by the pride the men in the family. More so Elijah then the others. Niklaus was the most polite, asking for your hand in the first dance, Kol was nice ,but excused himself the moment he had the chance. For some reason i just could never truly get Elijah out of my mind. His character was so not normal it was brain wrecking. Not saying hello at first but only making slight comments during conversations with other people.

“ okay fine, but only because you said so. Ma is probably in the drawing room tending to my younger sister” you stand up politely bowing to Rebekah as you two make your way into the house for a simple hello and goodbye.

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“ Oh dear y/n! That is the one!! The blush pink color is your color, and if my foolish brother, Elijah doesn't make a gesture tonight well ill have to simple slap him myself because you are going to look stunning tonight” Rebekah says standing up clapping when you came out of the dressing room in this beautiful pink dress.

“ Rebekah!”

“O don’t Rebekah me! I know you fancy my brother, don’t worry love he fancies you too.”

“ Well he has a terrible way of showing it” You turn to face the mirror admiring yourself in this dress. If it wasn't for Rebekah being who she is you would have never dared to step into this dress. the waist fitting perfectly around you, the top showing off slight cleavage ,but not enough where it became inappropriate. The dress was everything and perfect.

“ My poor oldest brother... He has an odd way of showing his feelings to anyone outside of the family. So don’t be so uptight, and trust me when i say he truly dose have his eyes set on you” Rebekah smiles going over to me for a quick hug.

“ Now enough of this talking, we still have to figure out a dress for me!”  She adds. I simple smile bowing slightly before i make my way back to the dressing room to take the dress off. once it is off i make my way back into the fitting area sitting down where Rebekah had once sat waiting my dress reveal. After 4 different dresses she finally comes out.

“ This is it, this dress if the one. Hope fully this well catch the eye of the governors son” Rebekah says smiling as she comes out twirling in her dress with her ever so perfect smile.

“ Your out of your sense, the poor governors boy has been totally bewitched by you. If its anyone stopping him from coming forward its your brothers, they would probably kill the poor soul before he could even say Rebe-” you tease giggling as she threw some gloves at you.

“ I cant believe you would stoop to the level of throwing my crazy brothers in my face like that” Bek’s says causing you to giggle even more.

“ Well I think that dress makes you look ravishing, I think its best we get heading to your estate where well finish getting ready” You say standing up to help her with the dress.  

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“ Ah welcome Miss. Y/N i see my lovey sister has been torturing you with gown shopping” Niklaus says smiling at me with his lips as he greets both me and Rebekah at the fount door to their gorgeous estate.

“ Good evening to you too Mr. Mikealson. And it wasn't tortures at it, it was quite lovely actually. Rebekah and I both picked out new ball gowns for the ball that’s coming up in a short few hour”

“ ah yes speaking of that ball we must start getting ready too. Don’t be such a bloody wanker either Nik, us girls just want to have fun that’s all. Plus if maybe you smile more often there would be more women that would like to dance with you”

“ Oh course well my apologize sister, but would if it be alright with you Miss.y/n if i have a quick word with my youngest sister. She well be right there to accompany you with getting ready” and with a simple bow and curtsy both were off to the den to talk privately. I have curtsy back as i headed up the grand stair case to the fitting room I've grown to be so accustomed too. This house, this marvelous house.. My poor mind, it wonders to where he might be. He has to be in this house somewhere. 

As i descend upon the stairs i can hear footsteps, my heart beat picking up at the anticipation of being able to see the noble man of the house, Elijah.               “ good evening, Miss. y/n. I wasn't expecting any visitors so early before the party” Elijah say, i must have caught him off guard with my appearance.

“My apologizing for catching you off guard Mr. Mikaelson.. You dear sister invited me here earl to help her get ready for today's event” i bow as soon as i start my sentence.

“ Well it seems as though I’m the one who needs to apologizes, Forgive me” He says taking my hand gently into his giving it a soft kiss before leaving me to the room I was headed too. Of course my interaction with Elijah made me blush as i walk to the room being escorted by one of the many helpers around the house, the lady was carrying both Rebekah and I’s dress.

“ Sorry about that little interruption, I had to inform Niklaus about someone i heard conspiring against us. You understand. Now enough of that lets get ready for this ball!” Rebekah announces once she comes into the room where i was awaiting her. I smile nodding, but the only imagine i have in my head is of Elijah. More importantly his lips on my hand. O those soft pink lips, i wish to have them on me all the time.

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The ball is as exquisite as i could have ever imagine it. Being involved with such a high social rank as the Mikaelson family is such a privilege to my family and I. For right now i am currently in a conversation with both Rebekah, Niklaus and well of course my father. 

“ You must excuse us Mr. y/l/n its time for the toast” Niklaus says nodding slightly to my father as he leads Rebekah up the stairs to where the other sidings reside. Of course I make eye contact with Elijah causing a blush to spread across my face. He warm smile to me cause the blush to deepen

“ During times like this its truly time to celebrate family and friend its especially gratifying in times when treachery run deep to know you have someone you can trust. A toast to you, my sister, to Rebekah.” Klaus announces raising his champagne glass as we toast. I smile watching confused at first when i see Kol turn a whiter shade of white before he runs off. Niklaus must have been speaking of Kol in his foreshadowing of his speech. As speechless as everyone was I truly wasn't, knowing who the family is it comes to be no surprise when i watch Nik and Elijah corner Kol

“Apologizes ladies and gentlemen for it wouldn't be a Mikaelson party without a little family drama” Nik announces and in one swift movement shoving a silver dagger into kols heart. I flinch of course, turning away heading to the door to get some fresh air. Stepping out to the cool breeze of the night is refreshing. The moon and stair are shining bright.

“ Forgive me, Miss. Y/n, but may I accompany you on a late night walk” Its his voice, there’s no need to ask who it is talking to me. Hes holding his hand out to me, so of course i accept. 

“ It would be a shame if i said no wouldn’t it?” I respond smiling turning to face him putting my small hand into his ever so large one.

“ You have to know that what you witness a few minutes ago i wish i would not have to done in the eyes of the public.” our stroll begins as we walk threw the garden they have out front.

“ no need for apologizing, though it was a shame to see...” I simple respond holding onto his arm as we walk

“ I must confess something to you though Miss. Y/N, We’ve both been feeling a certain way for each other and i must say it out load before it eats me alive *Stops walking as he puts his hand on your cheek* I l- I love you Y/N.  Tell me... if you love me or not. If not I'll leave you alone forever" as hes confessing i cant help but smile, hes so perfect. His face, him himself must have been sculpted from the gods and he love me. Me? 

“ Elijah, I have loved you sense the day we meet, you have bewitched me body and soul, and i- i- i love you. There’s a reason why i kept coming back... it was for you” and with that we share our first kiss. His lips soft, the smell of nutmeg running nose filling me up. The kiss its passionate, full of all the unspoken words we have yet to tell each other. Pulling away just enough so we both can catch our breath. Our foreheads resting up against each other as we enjoy this moment.

“ I have been waiting for your kiss forever” He whispers softly as he leans in again to engulf me in another perfect kiss

“ Finally you two confuses your feelings, only took you both almost a year” Rebekah shouts out cause me to giggle into the kiss i share with him.

He chuckles hearing his sister remarks “ I must say, you look quite beautiful this evening y/n” Elijah says smiling softy as he tucks a lose piece of hair behind my face.

////// I hope I did this fic the justice it deserves. It was totally Pride and Prejudice inspired hence the reason its so formal and well oldish sounding... lol well hope you guys enjoyed!

xoxo nikki ///////

[tt205]

UNCONDITIONALLY

LAN XICHEN x READER

Summary: Your somewhat boyish behavior always bothered many , especially now whole of Gusu Lan Clan was pissed with you . Sharing feelings with Lan Xichen is something that brought you quite close this days . Will love be enough to cover up all of your 'flaws' ?

Requested? : YES by rozesdanze and I'm apologizing again for this late upload .

WARNINGS: minor cursing, low self esteem , slight bullying nothing that may trigger you too much .

Words count : 3.440

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You always were a free spirited person , not caring much about what everyone gotta say and just minding your own business while offering a helping hand where it was needed .

It was your nature , something you couldn't change.

Sometimes people told you to be more "feminine " or "act like a girl of your age " your somewhat boyish behavior bothering them .

You didn't mind it at all .

You grew up with only male friends except for Jiang Yanli and that's why you have adopted this 'strange for a girl ' behavior .

Everything was fine until you entered The Gusu Lan Clan Sect's area in the Cloud Recesses.

Your not so much disciplined ways of living bothered Lan Qiren and the rest of the ladies , that were supposed to be studying there and not gossip around .

It firstly started as comments now and then " dress like a girl " " style your hair like a girl " " why are you not wearing your hairpins ?" And such .

You brushed off the first couple of weeks but when the whole student community started making fun of you , you couldn't take it any more .

Your pride was indeed hurt .

If Wei Wuxian wasn't there you would have left this hell of a place and return back in Yumeng Clan, your hometown.

He was supportive as always , reassuring you that everything was fine with you and that you didn't have to change yourself in order to be accepted by others .

Your own self is what makes you unique.

If someone doesn't likes your real self then they dont deserve being with you .

•---------•---------••---------•---------••---------•---------•

You passed through the hallways trying to get in class when a group of so-good-for-nothing girls blocked your way .

A short girl two years older than you spoke first with this high pitched voice that make you want to slap her straight in the face "oh y/n I pity you so much .. how will you be able to find a good match in the future with such a poor manner set ? Tsts" she chuckled making your eyes go wide at her rudeness.

"I'm sure I will have more possibilities to find one than you .. I may not have the good manners you are claiming to have yourself but at least i am not rude with people i know nothing about " you answer her back bowing your head and trying to move through them .

"Move !" You ordered one of her side chicks Ling the stupid one .

" Oh my goodness.. this is not a way a lady should talk to another y/n " another one of her bitches talked.

You glared at her trying to push Ling to the side.

" why are you even talking to her Feng ? She cant even walk in a proper way yet not even get dressed up as a lady of her status she is a waste of time .. better let her become a puppet of her stupid friend the Yiling Patriarch-- "

"If you ever curse on Wei Wuxian in front of me I ll make sure to shut your mouth with my fist ! He is not making puppets to your information he is just controlling the Yin iron with skills you wish you could have ! Now move out of my sight !" You tell them totally pissed of .. you grab your sword case trying to put some sense in them but they dont seem to mind

" Stupid bitch no one will ever love you in this way ! Every one will pity your for being an unmarried pathetic bitch! In the end even your own family will abandon you - oh I forgot you've got none! " She curses at you and you feel like something is twisted to your core .

2 thing are what you hate the most 1. having people pitying you or telling you that they do and 2. People talking about your family .

That's it , before giving it a second thought you uncover your cased sword harshly .

You move it to your untied hair grabbing a fistful of them before moving the blade on them.

" 1st of all you are not even in the place to think about my family lowly peasant! Do you think that no one in here knows about your relationship with an already married man? " you ask her and she widens her eyes .

"secondly this is for you ! I'm a woman of my status and none my hair , clothing or manners can prove it otherwise! At least I'm not someone's slut!" You close your eyes before moving the blade in one sift motion and cutting half of your hair's length shortening it to shoulder's length.

"Now fuck off and don't dare to look at my direction again emptyheaded bitch!" You scream at her throwing all the hair on her face before making your way back to your room .

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3 hours have passed since the incident and no one has reached for you yet .

"Good" you thought, because reconsidering your action you've broken more that 6 of Gusu lan clan's rules and show disrespect to your rank status by cutting your hair .

Before realizing it you heard someone knocking on your door "shit" you cursed in your brain , moving to the doorframe and opening the door only to come face to face with the Clan-leader-to-be Lan Xichen.

You bowed your head , forcing a smile on as you rubbed your hands together to sooth your embarrassment, way too shy to look your 'crush' to the eyes .

"Greeetings Zewu Jun " you said moving aside and making room for him to enter .

"Lan Qiren asked me to bring you to him" he said the smile that always hugged his features non apparent anymore.

"Your uncle?" You asked wishing to get a 'no' as an answer..

"Unfortunately yes !" He said looking down the floor .

After putting on your cloaks , you both made your way out of your room and moved to Lan Qiren's residence.

After a really long chat with him you were free to go NOT REALLY .

He asked Xichen to take you himself to the library in order to make 1.500 copies of the latest book he bought this year.

You sighed again in the thought of the pain your arm will have after finishing this task , only to earn one of Xichen's concerned glances .

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As soon as seating down to your used by many times spot , you grabbed the pen and deeped it into the new-cut ink .

5 hours passed since you first started copying books and despite having nothing actually to do xichen seemed rather occupied.

You gave him a questionable look as you leaned your head in your hands looking to his place .

"You knew that this was going to put you in trouble y/n , why doing such a thing just to prove them wrong?" You raised your head upon hearing this words leaving Xichen's mouth , not formality in them , just casual talking.

" they have been getting on my nerves for more than 2 months I couldn't bear it -" you tried to explain yourself but he interrupted you

" You could have just come to me right from the beginning!" He looked pissed and you sifted in you seat shivering from the tone in his voice .

This man surely had some nerve in him, being more than a head taller than you was something that from the very start make it clear that you could better not get in any trouble with him .

Seeing his genuine and kind nature made you loose down your walls , allowing your heart to form feelings for him and now you are here unable to form a single word without stuttering in between.

" Y/n ? Cant you see it ?" He asked and you gave him a confused face in defense .

"What do you mean-?"

" I - i do care about you y/n , watching the others making your life a living hell including my uncle drives me crazy ! I tried so many times to show you how i feel about you just to give you a shelter, a safe place but you are not getting it " he sighed to himself clearly frustrated.

He removed a strand of hair out of his face looking to your not so calm face that was by now painted in a really deep shade of read .

Being the lil tease he secretly is , he wanted to get you even more freaked out by little .

He looked into your eyes with this calm face of his while saying " I love you y/n " and then returning to his desk and grabbing back his pen .

" I love you too " you said loud enough to even have the bunnies hear too outside , the silence inside the room making an echo to your voice .

In quick realization you moved your palm to your mouth clapping it fast and shutting down the curses about your stupidity that were ready to spill out .

" What ?" He asked in a teasing tone lifting his body higher and then sitting up completely moving to your place until he was studying right in front of you hovering some heads above you and then repeating then same question calmly.

This drove you crazy .

" How can a person be so calm in a situation like that ? " you screamed out loud mostly to yourself before reaching in front you and pinching the skin of his lower thigh .

You looked up to his face as he let out a high peached scream of pain "Lan Xichen you are driving me insane!"

You pinched him again with both hands now only to have him beg to be left in peace "Please y/n don't do this ! " he half laughed half screamed for the poor skin of his legs before reaching down and grabbing both your wrists once you didn't stop after his begs.

You squirmed in his grip before he moved both wrists to his lips , kissing the skin there and putting them back down the surface of your desk .

Your mouth was hanging open , such a big skin contact all of sudden leaving you shooked.

" I have done 14 copies of the book you are copying.. I'm taking a break for now but I'm returning back in 15 minutes straight! You continue your work little girl " he said before blinking his eye to you and moving out of the library .

"Excuse me ?! " you screamed as loud as you could looking both to your wrists and his distant form .

"This man is gonna drive me crazy sooner than I thought " you told yourself before returning to your work .

•---------•---------••---------•---------••---------•---------•

It's been 4 days since you started dealing with your punishment and you already have 276 copies ready to go but way more many on the way .

Today is a special day for Gusu lan Clan and it's students so it's the perfect opportunity for you to take a break tonight.

Gusu Lan Clan's biggest has come and you are now getting ready to attention the lantern festival with Wei Wuxian been apart for so many days making you miss him to death .

A sudden knock on the door made you jump on your spot .

Waiting for Wuxian you opened without asking for the person outside.

To your huge surprise there was not Wei Wuxian but Lan Xichen .

" I'm allowed to go in the festival today ! I asked your uncle this morning! You cannot keep me here- " you rushed to say to afraid of loosing your only chance out .

" I'm here to take you out myself so that you can return to the library straight after the ceremony finishes , my uncle has no intention searching for you so he sent me to make sure that there will be no way for you to sneak out " he said calmly giving you a teasing smile .

You looked around searching for Wei Wuxian but there you found him next to Lan Wangji holding a paper lantern together.

You giggled at the view of Wuxian's flashed cheeks when his hand touched Wangji's accidentally.

The moment when all of the lighting lanterns had to fly to the sky arrived so you moved to catch the one in front of you but regretted it at the sight of Xichen doing the same .

You felt shy at your silly mistake don't understanding that the lantern wasn't for you but for him and you bowed in discomfort cursing to yourself for making you look even more stupid to him .. your fucking crush .

" I think this is for the both of us y/n " he told you taking your hands in his making you catch some part of the paper .

" Every one can make a wish as their lantern will make their way up ! I'm sure that each and every wish of yours will be fulfilled in the near future and luck will always saw a good face to you and your loved ones ! This year was one of educational progress, health and wisdom. I hope that all of you will follow the path we Gusu Lan Clan taught you about , a path of righteousness, fairness and virtue. Now I'll count up to 5 so all of you will have to prepare your lanterns! " Lan Qiren announced making you look around for some fire to put in the light .

"One" he started

"Two" the lantern was ready to go so you thought about making a wish

" I wish y/n would give me a chance to prove my sincere feelings for her while living and following the path of the good , avoiding the sinful road and having zero regrets. " the man next to you whispered mostly to himself with closed eyes as he hold onto your lantern tightly.

Your eyes blinked twice the having the man you wish to call yours one day admitting his feelings again .

" I wish I'll become a woman of my status so I can let myself be loved by the man I love without minding if I'll ruin his reputation with my inappropriate image " you whispered to both to him and to yourself, admitting how you really felt with this complicated situation .

You didn't want to change yourself, no not at all, but you just hopped the time could change you into what you could call ideal woman , wife , without feeling much pain in the progress.

It was true , him loving you would ruin his and the Gusu Lan Clan's reputation .

The future Clan Leader having feelings for a punk?

A girl with no manners?

Without a family and depending only on Yumeng Sect and her uncle ?

Sometimes you wished you were different, somewhat like your cousin Yanli but no , in the end you wouldn't be you , you would be someone fake .

You would be someone even more miserable.

You are clearly confused by now .

Shall I change and become what the world around me wants to or be myself and let them talk shit without minding a bit ?

The 1st one is the easy way , but the 2nd one is what will make you struggle but be you at the very last .

"Three " Lan Qiren spoke as you tried to regain your composure and focus .

"Four " all of the disciplines lifted their lanterns up readying them once more .

"Y/n would you like to be the person I call home from now on ?" Xichen asked you .

"I can't-"

" Yes you can ! If there is love in between everything can be worked out !" He cut you

" Is there any love from your side y/n ?" He asked you and you didn't want a second more to know the answer

"Yes there is "

" See ? There is no reason you can't let me love you , call you mine , make you the person I want to return after the storm . I want to be the person you need , you love , I want to be your everything, would you allow me to do that ? "

" Don't you mind I'm who I am ? "

"Five! Let them go and fly high " Lan Qiren called and you did as you were told

"No , I don't . I love you for who you really are y/n not for who I want you to be " Xichen said making you look down the floor to afraid to be loved but at the same time loose who you really love .

"I really like you , no I can say that I love you , everything you do . And all I want is to protect and take you home with me .

Will you come and live in Gusu with me ?

I wanna be with you forever and even though it's really early to say would you like to marry me one day ?

I'm sure that even though you are not my uncle's favorite person out there he will accept the fact that we want to be together.

We can call your uncle to come and set a marriage for us in the years to follow .

I will give you as much time as you feel like taking but I want to make my feelings clear to you from the very beginning.

Would you like to marry me and be the next Gusu Lan Clan's Leader wife ? " he asked always to rushed as his cheeks took a red color painting his pale skin .

"Yes I would love to ! Even if i could marry every man on earth you would be my one and only choice in every lifetime and every dimension I could live , I would choose you again"

You answer him with a little smile in the end as both of you hugged gaining glares from all the people around you .

" Does this mean that we are official?" He asked

"I guess so " you told his hiding you face in his strong torso .

" FELLOW HUMANS IM GETTING MARRIED TO MY BELOVED Y/N I WISH YOU ALL CAN MAKE IT TO OUR MARRIAGE IN THE NEAR FUTURE !" He screamed making you punch him lightly in his lower abdomen as he fake screamed in pain .

" That means that we will be siblings by law y/n?" Wuxian asked while jumping his way to your derection happily

" What do you mean A-Xian?" You asked confused .

" We are getting married too brother !" Lan Wangji said as both yours and Xichen's jaw dropped open .

" Congratulations!" Both of you screamed out loud as you went hugging them .

The four of you hugged while jumping together but then there he came Jiang Cheng.

" That means I'm the only single bird rn? Thanks guys thanks!" He said while glaring at you four .

" No you are not sweetheart!" Nie Huaisang appeared giving Cheng a misiviews smile before hiding his now flashed cheeks behind his fan .

" BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME THAT I'M THAT DESPERATE! I BETTER BE PUNCHED IN THE FACE BY WEN QING AGAIN RATHER THAN DATING YOU ! " Jiang Cheng screamed in Huiesung's face before storming away in order to search for his short tempered other half Wen Qing .

" There we go again " Wuxian said

" Yes there we go again " you added and the four of you started laughing until tears formed in your eyes and too little oxygen was making it's way into your lungs.

This is the best feeling.

Be with people that you love and love you ,

Without loosing faith in you ,

Without wanting to make you someone else ,

Without wanting to control you

People that love you unconditionally.

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Please follow & like for more content!

Stay happy & healthy ♡

Be yourself + love yourself.

Hope you enjoyed reading

[backtobackbakubabe]

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 11)

Bakugo x Reader 

It’s never too late to go back to school

Words: 2720

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

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Due to your current condition hero work was just not a thing anymore. And you’d be damned if you ended up as someones secretary. So that’s how you ended up here at UA attending a meeting with All Might and and Principle Nezu.

There wasn't exactly a spot open on the teaching staff. You werent exactly qualified either. But after all your work with Dylan you thought maybe you had some unique insight on how you could push your quirk and applying it in other ways.

You really wanted this job but you didn't want to come across as desperate. It had only been about a week since you and Bakugo found out you were pregnant and you hadn’t told anyone yet. You knew you would have to tell them though and you just hoped it wouldn't be a deal breaker.

“So Y/n” All Might took his seat as he addressed you, “Why do you want to be a teacher at UA? Hero work not what you thought it was going to be?”

You tried not let your emotions show on your face. You assume he's talking about when you were shot a few months back. They probably think you’re looking to retire from hero work.

“Well I dont think it’s ever what anyone expects if we’re being honest. Sure we’re told it’ll be dangerous and it’ll be hard but we’re never told about how gritty it can get. But no I wouldn't say that’s why I’m here. In fact I cant think of anything more heroic than helping the next generation grow to be the best heros they can be.”

Principle Nezu spoke up, “I couldn't have said that any better myself dear y/n. Teaching is very rewarding in its own way. But it also has its challenges. Students can be quite stubborn, disobedient, or emotional sometimes. They are children after all. Are you equipped to deal with such challenges?”

You refrained from scoffing instead giving him a soft smile, “With all due respect sir. I live with Bakugo Katsuki and I think we know he is all three of those things you just mentioned.”

He nodded and took a sip of his tea, “Yes I remember... Very passionate that one. So aside from your desire to help and your plethora of patience, what do you have to offer UA?”

You took in a deep breath, “Well ever since my accident I’ve been working with a quirk trainer and she has taught me to look at quirks in a new light. Sure by the time most students reach UA they usually have a pretty decent understanding of what their quirks are but I want them to look beyond their basic applications. I want to teach them to push themselves and to look beyond their known limits and find all the many ways they can apply themselves.”

All Might smiled, “Ah yes I heard about all of your new tricks. As someone who was once your teacher I can say that I never would have thought they were possible. I took your quirk for what it was a face value and didn't think to try to expand beyond that.”

Principle Nezu nodded, “Yes but as impressive as that is I don’t believe you ever truly answered why you want to retire from hero work? You said why you wanted to teach, but a lot of our teaching staff also still work as heros. You have expressed a desire to be a full time teacher. Why is that?”

Alright this was it. You knew you had to tell them. It was only ethical but you had just wanted to keep it a secret for a little longer. “Well there has been a recent development that I believe would hinder my ability to preform to the best of my ability...”

All Might sighed, “Are you referring to your injury a few months back?”

You assumed Midoriya had told his mentor all about that night. You could see in All Might’s eyes that he knew how traumatic it must have been. “Actually no although I can understand why that is what you would assume.” You took a moment to collect your thoughts. “As you both know Bakugo and I have been dating for a better part of a year now. And although we haven't told anyone yet... so we would appreciate your discretion... but we’re.. well more specifically I... am uh... pregnant...”

It was the first time you had said the words out loud to someone other than Bakugo and it just felt weird, but in the best way possible.

All Might slammed his cup of tea on his desk. “I wasn’t expecting that! Oh my goodness congratulations! I am so very happy for you! I promise we won't tell a soul!” His emotions caught you off guard, “I apologize for my outburst but you guys where my first round of students and in a way I think of you like my children.. and to think one, NO TWO of them are having a baby... TOGETHER! Oh it’s just all so overwhelming!”

Principle Nezu put a hand on All Mights shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. “Well seeing as you answered all of our questions better than most other faculty members here, I would think its safe to say that we could find a position here for you. Temporarily of course should you choose to return to hero work once the child is born.”

You shot straight up out of your chair, “Thank you sir! You have no idea how much this means to Bakugo and I!” You bowed, “I promise I will not disappoint you!”

He giggled, “You never have before, so I don’t know why you would start now.”

The second you stepped through the door to your home Bakugo was there sweeping you up into a hug and carrying you to the couch like the idiot he is, “I can walk you know! Put me down you caveman!”

He plopped down on the couch with you in his lap, “Can’t a guy be nice to his pregnant girlfriend?”

You gave him a shit eating grin, “Well seeing as most boyfriends wait to carry their girlfriends over the threshold until after they're married...”

He narrowed his scarlet eyes at you, “And you say I’m impatient.” He clearly didn't want to talk about it right now because before you could push him on it he changed the subject, “SO! How did the interview go? Did you get the job?”

His hands were starting to rub soothing patterns on your thigh. You knew he wanted you to get this job. Shit he probably wanted you to get it more than you did. It was also no secret that he would totally be okay if you stayed there after the baby was born and just made it your new profession.

“Well I had my interview with Principle Nezu and All Might. We had tea, it was lovely. It didn't last very long though, I’d say probably only about fifteen minutes or so. They both say Hi by the way. And congratulations, I felt like it was only responsible to tell them but they promised they wouldn't tell any-”

“Did you fucking get the job or not?! Just spit it out!”

You loved how easy it was to get under his skin, “You know once this kid pops out you're going to need to learn some patience. Kids love to tell long and pointless stories. They’re all long middles with no beginning and no end.”

“Ugh much like this conversation! Just tell me already! I’ve been anxious all fucking day!”

You gave him a small smirk, “Yes babe, I got the job.”

He crushed his lips to yours, “Fuck yeah! That’s my girl! You’re going to be the most badass teacher at UA! You won't take shit from any of those snot nosed kids.”

You cocked and eyebrow at him, “I believe you were once one of those snot nosed kids babe...”

He laughed, “Yeah and look at me now! A functioning member of society all because of you.”

You just rolled your eyes, “Says the guy who just yesterday yelled at Zuko, who is a dog by the way, because you didn't like his tone?”

He huffed, “Well yeah! He was arguing with me when I was trying to get him to go outside while it was raining! He needs to man up and pee in the rain! Kids are different they know better and talk shit anyways!”

You chuckled, “Speaking of kids remember we have that dinner with Dylan and her family tonight.”

He gripped you tighter and groaned, “Ugh do we have to? I kind of wanted to celebrate your new job... you know sans clothing.”

“As tempting as that sounds how about we celebrate, you know with clothes on first? Then when we get home we’ll revisit the naked option?”

He whined, “But you’re always so tired! Not that I’m complaining you're literally growing a whole ass human but I miss our sexy time!”

You gave him a weird look, “Did you really just say sexy time? You’ve been spending too much time with Denki.”

“Dont you dare compare me to that degenerate pervert!”

You laughed as you stood up and headed towards the bedroom, “Whatever you say babe. I’m going to get ready, she said to be there by 5. I’ll lay out an outfit for you.”

He grumbled as he followed you, “I can pick out my own clothes you know.”

You rolled your eyes, “A black t-shirt and sweatpants are not appropriate attire for dinner.”

“UGH! FINE!”

And that's how you showed up to dinner with an irritable Katsuki because you made him wear a nice button down shirt with khakis. “Who am I? Jake from fucking state farm? What if we run into a villain? I can’t work in khakis.”

“Well its a good thing we have today off then. No villains to fight.” You gave his hand a squeeze. Now remember her kid is like obsessed with Ground Zero so... try to play nice.”

He scoffed as he reached out to ring the doorbell, “Okay Mom...”

Next thing you know the door is being ripped open by girl who couldn't have been older than 6. She was wearing a Ground Zero t-shirt and her hair was pulled into two tight black ponytails. She stared straight in Katsuki's eyes for a few seconds before she whispered, “Hi Mr. Zero. Did you know you could use your quirk to turn your hands into guns?”

Bakugo gave you a weird look and you just shrugged, “Huh?”

“Kitty! What did we talk about?” Dylan was now standing behind her daughter looking angry.

“Asking permission before reading someones quirk?”

“Exactly now say you’re sorry.”

Kitty looked up at your boyfriend with the most epic puppy dog eyes you had ever seen and you could Bakugo melting on the spot, “I’m sorry Mr. Zero. Please forgive me”

You could tell Bakugo was freaked out so you gave him an encouraging nudge, “Uhh. yeah whatever. dont worry about it shrimp.”

Her eyes lit up, “MOM! DID YOU HEAR THAT HE CALLED ME SHRIMP!” She was now tugging on Dylans sleeve.

Dylan gave you an apologetic look, “Sorry she’s just really excited. We’ve talked about our manners for a good part of the day but it seems thats all gone out the window.” She started leading you to the diner table, “I heard you like spicy food so I’ve made spicy pad thai. I hope that’s okay.”

You could just feel the heartburn now but you didn't want to be rude and you knew Bakugo would love it.

You took your seat next to Bakugo and being the caveman he is he immediately started eating without waiting for anyone else. “I apologize Dylan. You see we had the same talk about manors on the way here but it looks like he wasn’t listening either.”

Kitty leaned over to Bakugo and whispered, “Is your mommy as strict as my mommy?” It took a few seconds to realize she was referring to you but when he did he lost it. He started laughing louder than you had ever herd him laugh, well at least while he’s sober.

He put a hand on your thigh, “She is a mommy but she’s not my mommy even though she may act like it sometimes.” He chuckled and gave your thigh a squeeze, “But believe me she can be a pain in the a- neck sometimes.”

You elbowed him in the side,”Watch your language.”

He looked offended, “Hey I caught myself didn't I?” He turned back to Kitty, “See this is what I’m talking about. She’s being mean to me and I didn't even do anything.”

Dylan gave you a wide eyed expression, “I’m sorry did he just say you’re a mommy?”

You sighed as you slapped him on the back of the hat, “Yes. He did. I was going to tell you tonight anyways but I guess the cat is out of the bag. I won't be able to keep training with you seeing as we are expecting.”

Even though you just hit him, he still had a super goofy grin on his face as he leaned over and put a hand on you stomach. “Yeah so Kitty if you ever see her scolding me it’s just because she's practicing to be a mommy, she’s not really being mean.”

Kitty’s eyes went to where his hand was on your stomach, “OH MY GOSH! THERE’S GOING TO BE A BABY GROUND ZERO!”  

Dylan shot daggers at her daughter, “Kitty inside voice please and please whatever you do don’t tell any of your friends school. This is top secret okay? Do you understand?”

She just grinned and nodded her head before whispering something in Bakugo’s ear that made him laugh. Well you guess he had a new friend now.

The rest of the night was basically just Bakugo playing with Kitty while you and Dylan talked about pregnancy. It was nice to be able to talk to someone about it. She was very excited about your new job and promised she would continue to help you anyway she could.

Only after Bakugo had thoroughly worn Kitty out after a game of heros and villains did he return to the adults. “Hey Dylan what did Kitty mean earlier when she said I could use my hands as guns?”

Dylan stared into his eyes for a moment and you could see the chilling affect it had on him. “Much like how guns use very small explosions to propel their bullets, if done correctly you could potentially pick up debris, rocks, or small objects and explode them from your hand much like a gun. It would be a smaller and quieter alternative to the explosions you’re prone to using. Feel free to stop by the gym sometime and maybe we can figure it out”

He stared at his hands, “Huh... I just might take you up on that.”

Later that night you were walking up the walkway to your home when Katsuki snaked his arms around your waste, “Hey so what do you say? Did I behave myself well enough to earn a little dessert?”

His mouth was on your neck as you fished for your keys in your purse, “I’d say so.. Mr. Zero.”

You could feel his smile on your neck, “That brat was adorable wasn’t she?”

You finally got the door open, but you froze, “Hey Katsuki? I thought you left a light on for Zuko?”

He stepped infant of you protectively, “I did.. someones been in the house...”

“SURPRISE!”

The lights were flicked on and everyone was coming out from their hiding spots. The poor couch Midoriya had been hiding behind had a light singe from where Bakugo had shot at it. “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EXTRAS DOING IN MY HOUSE!”

All Might stepped out from the kitchen rubbing his neck, “That would be my fault. I know I promised I wouldn't tell anyone but... I kind of told everyone. I’m SORRY!”

Kirishima was running over towards you, “Holy SHIT! I can't believe this is happening! I’m going to be an uncle!”

Katsuki gave him a death glare, “I gave you a key for EMERGENCIES ONLY DAMNIT!” 

[captain-jinguji]

Sorry it took so long @yumi-yuka-yuki but I FINALLY finished Syo's :)

SYO KURUSU YANDERE ALPHABET

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Syo would show his affection by quite literally throwing himself at his darling. Gifts and surprises would also be a huge thing for him, especially if he senses his darling's discomfort. Other than that, hes actually more "chill" with affection and not super intense, unlike some others. 

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Has come home bloody before, will do it again. If theres anything that stands in his and his darling's way, consider that person and or thing eliminated. Permanently. Of course, he knows it shocks his darling but he tries to reason with that that it was for their own safety. Sometimes that's believable, most times it's just plain scary. 

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Oh yes he would mock them, ESPECIALLY if theyve been ~unappreciative~ of his efforts. As long as they try to "understand" him though, he will try to "understand" them. Or. At least that's what he makes them think. 

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Surprisingly, he would actually not force himself onto them, at least at first. He tries to understand that this is new for his darling (and him!!!) And that they both just need time to cope. He does, at some point, tend to publicly humiliate them, both sexually and not, just to ensure that no one else wants them and or tries to take them from him. He's a very MINE type of yandere that takes it to extremes. 

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He WANTS to be vulnerable, he really does. He wants to be their hero and have them love him unconditionally and he knows that there needs to be a certain amount of vulnerability on his part in order for that to happen,BUT the more his darling defies him or betrays him, the less open he is. 

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He would get mad and fight them. Physical fights between him and his darling are not uncommon but he always stops and just cradles them up in his arms, holding them tight even as they push against him and scream into his ear. Afterall, he has to be there for his darling, has to be the protector. 

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

This is not a game. I repeat this is NOT a game. You are HIS and HIS alone and he will do ANYTHING to make that known. Dont even try to escape him because he will not play that route. 

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

He has beaten them unconscious before. That split moment when he didn't know whether or not his darling was still alive send him almost passing out himself. How could he let this happen? He was so shocked at his own actions that he vowed to never let it get this far again, and though he still tends to get physical at times, he doesnt take it to these extremes. 

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

He wants a family with his darling. Something that secures them to him for life; something that truly makes them unable to escape. Children are the perfect way to do that. 

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

You can just walk down the same street as his darling and he gets jealous. He's one of the worst ones, too, and will go to great lengths just to prove that his darling belongs to HIM.  

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Very confident and bold. He wants his darling to know that he CAN and WILL protect them from anyone and thing and that they dont have to worry about anything; leave it up to him. All of this sounds cute until they figure out what lies beneath the mask. 

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

He becomes friends with them first. It all seemed normal you know, a friendship turned romance. Shy and cute, but then it turned sour and now they cant escape the bitter taste that will forever be settled on their tongue. 

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Kind of but kind of not. Syo has always been very bold, very daring, very dangerous. It just never occurred to anyone of how BAD it could get. 

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Humiliation and beatings are his main ways. More so humiliation. Whether that be (very) public sex, leaking of personal information, or dark pranks. Humiliation is his favorite form of punishments. 

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Much like Cecil, his darling won't have many rights either. They are to be with him at all times and report to him whenever he asks for it. Almost becomes like a military commander.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He has absolutely no patience. Sure he tries to "understand" but there's no excuse for them to lash out at him or be so ungrateful. 

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If they successfully escape from him, he would ask himself what he did wrong before going on a long and extensive search because now he needs answers. He woukd try to "win" his darling back by sweet romancing them which may or may not work. If his darling dies, he would most likely also die. Whether that be by his own two hands or from going into a shock and his heart giving out. 

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Meh. He sees it as a "hero saves princess from world" kind of scenario not that he actually kidnapped and tortured a human being. He might feel guilt for some actions, but he won't feel guilty for wanting to be with his darling. 

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

I dont think anything in particular brought it on. Its more like a darker side if him that he always had that was successfully unlocked when he met his darling. Almost like they were the key to the lock. 

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

It quite honestly breaks his heart when his darling is genuinely unhappy, it just never occurs to him that he's the reason, so he goes and destroys everything/one else instead so his darling can be happy again. 

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Not really hes pretty spot on with the classic yandere. 

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Definitely his heart condition. If he gets riled up enough he has to sit down and take breaks because his heart will give out otherwise and thats their chance to escape. Get him angry, violent, and breathing with fire, and theres a good chance his heart might give out. 

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Yes and has done it before. He does feel bad for some of the extremes but every action has a consequence.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Once his eyes are set on someone, that's it. Theyre like a prize to him and by any means necessary. He will win that prize. 

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Not very long. He's very "heroic" from the beginning on so the minute his darling doesnt appreciate his heroism toward them, he snaps. 

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Its not that he wants to break them, its just things would be so much easier if he did. Depends on how free willed and determined his darling is. 

[thecleverdame]

Control and Release - 8

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

*this is a repost as Tumblr deleted the last one

Summary: With the rest of the staff caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester.

Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification,  mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, dub-con, nipple clamps,(more warnings as the story continues)  

Words: 2.3k

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Parts Nine and Ten are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

Your hotel room is a long elevator ride up at the Four Seasons. It’s twice the size of your apartment and the mattress is the most comfortable thing you’ve ever felt in your life.

Sam’s big meeting isn’t until the morning, but he had plenty to go over with Pepper so you were sent to your room until he calls for you. You take a shower and order room service for a snack, then sit at the end of the bed and watch TV as the hours tick by.

By the time he texts you, you’re beyond ready and full of nervous anticipation. Every inch of your body is lotioned and soft, hair curled and makeup minimal but enough to add a little oomph to your everyday look.

Picking up the phone you read the message from Keith Campbell.

Open your gift and put it on. Come up my room. Wear a dress, we’re going out.

“My gift?” you mutter. There’s a knock at the door right on cue. You collect a box from the bellhop, thanking him and kicking the door shut behind you. The box itself is wrapped in nondescript, white paper and you tear it open to reveal a pearly iridescent box with the name Dark Garden Lingeriescrawled across the top.

Inside is a matching black bra and panties. Upon closer inspection, you discover the panties are crotchless, and a thrill of anticipation runs up your spine. There are garters and thigh-high pantyhose underneath them and you take out the full set, stripping down to try it on.

It takes a few tries to get it right, but when you’re done you admire yourself in the mirror. The garter sits smoothly around your waist, the rest of the set perfectly in place. It dawns on you that Sam knows your measurements. He paid close enough attention to be able to order lingerie that fits like a glove. He’s given this thought, took the time to pick out something specific to his tastes. This little delivery was pre-planned.

For the first time, you wonder if he thinks about you with the same fascination you have for him. Not wanting to indulge those thoughts you focus on the matter at hand.

You’re better prepared this time. You overpacked, and have something you think will be perfect for the occasion. It’s a bright red one shoulder cocktail dress that falls just above the knee. It’s daring but also conservative, a commentary on Sam if ever there was one.

-

Waiting in the hallway you knock on Sam’s door, shifting from one foot to the other. The uncertainty of your time with him makes your blood run hot, a tingle that always sets in when you know you’re about to see him.

The door swings open and there he is in an expertly tailored navy blue suit that was clearly made for him. It’s easy to get caught up in who he is and your relationship with him, but all that aside, he’s a devastatingly handsome man.

He stands there with his hand on the door, inspecting you from head to toe before stepping aside. “Come in.”

You step into his room and he shuts the door behind you.

“You look beautiful,” he comments, stalking around you in a full circle.

“Thank you for my gift.” You lick your lips as he comes to stand in front of you.

“You’re wearing it?” He grins.

As if he even needs to ask.

“Yes,” you confirm. “Would you like me to show you?”

“Not right now. We’ll save that for later.” He steps closer, lifting his hands to curl around the back of your neck, his thumb resting in the dip between your collar bones. All of his fingers stroke up the back of your neck, sending a spine tingling chill from head to toe. He rarely touches you, so the feeling of his warm hands lingering on your skin is a treat.

You look up as he stares down at you and the world narrows down to this moment. His fingers press on the base of your skull, thumbs pressing softly at your jugular notch as you stare at each other.

This is by far the most intimate moment you’ve experienced with Sam. He’s close and quiet, inches from your face, close enough that you can feel his breath. It’s as if you’ve been drugged, willing to do anything he asks of you. One of his thumbs moves up to press at the front of your throat, feeling you swallow.

“I’m going to take you to dinner,” he whispers, mouth getting closer by the second. His lips brush the corner of your mouth as he speaks. “And then I’m going to bring you back here and fuck your tits. Would you like that?”

“Yes,” you whimper, eyes closed as you swim in the feeling of him.

“I’m going to test your limits tonight, Y/N.” Your legs feel weak as he speaks, knees threatening to give out. “Some things may hurt but I promise you’ll like it all. Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” you whisper, mouth falling slack.

“If you’re good for me tonight, tomorrow I’ll fuck your pussy,” he murmurs, his mouth moving to the shell of your ear. “I bet you're so tight. Bet that wet little cunt is just begging for a cock.”

You wheeze, breath rattling in your throat as your sex begins to tingle. Part of you thought maybe he’d never actually fuck you. That this is all some power game designed to make you crave him but never actually give you what you want. If it means he’ll fuck you, you’d crawl on the floor and bark like a dog if he asked you to.

“I’ll be good.” This pledge comes out as a whine, strained and low as he pulls back to look at you.

“I know you will,” he affirms. “Now let's go have something to eat, shall we?”

-

You slide into the backseat of a sleek, black car and Sam settles in next you, immediately rolling up the privacy window that separates the back from the driver. You’ve barely pulled away from the curb when he reaches over and hooks a hand under your knee, laying your leg over his thigh, effectively opening you up for him.

You don’t say anything just turn to watch him as he’s focused on his where his fingers are trailing up your inner thigh, brushing gently up past the thigh highs and garter clips, until he finds exposed flesh. You suck in a breath and he grins like a wolf, refocused on whatever new torture he has in store.

“Are you wet?” he asks softly, fingers moving closer to your trembling apex.

“Ahuh.” The second the word leaves your mouth you tense up, and you feel a slap on the inside of your thigh, just above the knee.

“What did I say about talking like that?” he chastises, looking for your confirmation.

“I’m sorry. I meant yes. I’m wet.” Squirming in the seat you draw in a breath and try to sit still. It seems an impossible task with his hand inching up further and further and then you feel it. The tips of two fingers easily find the obscene hole in the crotch of your panties, sinking into your wet flesh up to his first knuckle.

“Yes you are,” he shakes his head. “What about today turned you on the most?”

“The plane was challenging,” you gulp. “But when you tell me what you’re going to do to me later, I love that. And I like when you touch me.”

“Of course you do,” he coos, his thumb finding your clit, rubbing over it lightly.

You jerk as he grazes the most sensitive part of you. You’ve been throbbing since the flight and this might prove to be your undoing.

“I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.” Your mouth falls open, fighting the urge to close your legs around his hand.

“That’s not the way to ask.” He presses harder at your clit and you groan as his fingers sink deeper inside you. “What you meant was may I cum?”

“May I cum?” you rasp, shifting in the seat, canting your hips forward for relief but it only makes it worse.

“Absolutely not,” he quips, giving your clit one last press before removing his hand from between your legs. “Open your mouth.” You do as he says, jaw falling open as he slides his two sullied fingers over your tongue. “Suck.”

You can taste your own pussy on him. This act elicits a kind of strange arousal that you never knew would turn you on until he did it the first time. As he begins to slide his fingers deeper, you wonder if he’ll ever have you suck his cock after he fucks you, make you swallow his shaft, coated in your slick.

His fingers push deeper and you gag for a moment before regaining control, opening your throat so that he can push as deep as he wants. You’ve taken his cock deeper than this, but it’s an altogether different feeling to have his fingers wiggling in the back of your throat.

“Look at me.” He commands and you snap to attention, wide-eyed while he fucks your mouth with his fingers. A tear slides down your cheek, as you clench your thighs together. Your throat makes its own unique squelching sound and it’s enough to make your cunt clench, the thought of him using you like this is filthy and beyond exciting.

“That’s enough for now I think.” He removes his finger from your mouth and you close your eyes, trying to pull yourself together. He plucks a kleenex from his pocket and wipes his hand off before lifting your leg off him.

--

“You know,” he leans back in his seat, sipping a glass of seltzer. “It used to be when I went on these trips I’d eat alone or order room service. Having you here is far more entertaining.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying our arrangement.” You smile, crossing your ankles under the table. “Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask,” he volleys back. “But I may not answer.”

“Why don’t you drink alcohol? Is it just the whole health thing?”

“Partly,” he concedes, setting his drink on the table but keeping his hand over it. “Alcohol does a lot of damage to your liver over time. But more than that, I am in complete control of myself. Aware of my surroundings. There are dark things in this world, bad things happen all the time and most people never see it coming. After something terrible happens people tell themselves there’s nothing they could have done, but most of the time that’s just a load of shit. There’s almost always more that can be done. They could have paid attention, been more careful, worked harder. I don’t drink because I want to see what’s coming.”

“Well.” You sit back. “I thought you were just gonna feed me some line about being on Keto or something.”

He laughs at that, a deep laugh that puts a genuine smile on his face.

It makes sense from what you know about him professionally and personally. At W & S there are people coming at him from all sides, there’s always a new offer, a pitch for the next great idea. And after what Max and Pepper told you about his girlfriend and brother, this falls right in line. The rug has been pulled out from under him before, he’s not about to let it happen again.

“I have a question for you.” He sits forward with that trademark soul-piercing stare.

“Okay.” You nod. “I’m an open book.”

“What were you doing delivering mail?” He looks genuinely perplexed, eyes narrowing. “I know you said that you wanted experience in a professional environment, but why not a receptionist? You’re intelligent, attractive, well-spoken when you want to be. What brought you to the W & S mail room?”

You’re quiet for a moment, looking down at your hands folded in your lap. You look back at him before you speak. “You did.”

“What do you mean?” His interest is peaked.

“I worked in a factory, by choice more than anything. I can work hard when I need to, but the truth is I hate it. I’m a daydreamer by nature. Anyway, I was watching my life pass me by. One night I was scrolling on Facebook and came across your TED Talk, the one you did in Palo Alto. You talked about personal accountability and making changes and committing to them. It was what I needed to hear at that moment. I Googled you, found out your firm was in Boston and I applied for the first job I thought I could get. Not because I was trying to get close to you, or anything stalkery, just because I wanted to be around that kind of energy. I spent the last twenty-eight years around stoners and dropouts. I’m ready for more.”

“Really?” He grins, looking at you with some kind of new found appreciation. “So there is a little bit of a go-getter in you.”

“You have no idea, Mr. Winchester,” you tease, leaning toward him. “With the proper motivation, I bet I could do just about anything I put my mind to.”

“I’ll take that as a challenge.” He lifts his chin in your direction.

-

Parts Nine and Ten are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e10 Live Blog

“Justice Under Siege”

ALRIGHT so despite the fact that it is the 1 week anniversary of my death, OPM has forcefully wrenched me from the underworld to come continue with the season. So here I am and I’ve already posted my guess for what this episode will entail so lets see how well I handle it! (see: how much I scream) As always, I’m watching as someone who is up to date on both the Manga and webcomic

ASDFGHJKL I OPENED OPM ON HULU AND IT IMMEDIATELY PICKED UP WHERE I LEFT OFF AT REWATCHING THE ZOMBIEMAN BIT HOW DARE I WAS NOT READY

lets try that again ok

AHA YES OMG we’re starting with this!! I was totally expecting to pick up exactly where we left off, with Destrochloridium at the HA but OK throw me for a loop! Mix it up! “ORA ORA ORA ORA” I love Saitamas VA, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I laffff oh my god it keeps going in the background as Kind talks I can’t

This is the scariest Saitama face I have ever witnessed wtf??? Why does it look so creepy?? Also, they added quite a bit to this scene huh? I guess They have to amp up the jokes since shit is getting pretty serious otherwise at this point in the series. OH SHIT THE DING ‘NO OTHER WORDS CAME TO MIND” OK Excellently done that got me I cackled fffffffffffffffff

OH MY GOD KING THAT SICK BURN?!?! I dont remember that I guess they’re really making it a point to be like ‘HEY LOOK THIS IS GONNA BE USED!!! IT EXISTS!!!’ but like I dont care cause it was worth it for the joke hhhhhhhhhhhJUST

Yanno, I just realised I think I know where every sing scene in the whole opening comes from down to the omake. Also just realised we are definitely getting Genos/Bang/Bomb vs Centipede cause that joint attack Bang and Bomb use is in the opening. Huh why did that only just now click anD OH MY GOD BB GENOS IM DYING NO

Ok now we’re where we left off and oh dear god I HATE that squish noise please stop no OK Gyoro’s weird Eye twitch was a cool touch. Oh wait Narinki is the highest ranking executive now? I thought he was just the top donor of funds or something? eh anyway- lol wow Gyoro puts on a convincing sob story voice this is so funny?? Cause its Complete BS and I wonder what my reaction would be if I didn’t already know that AHH OK BUT THAT ‘HEHIHIHIHIHI’ LAUGH THO OMG SO GOOD

WHEW ok but seriously just the MENTION of assembling all the heroes is raising my blood pressure asdfghjkl if I may have one thing in life PLEASE LET IT BE A THIRD SEASON PLEASE IM BE G G IN G

AHH YESSS!!!! YYYEEESSSS!!!!! DARKSHINE MY DUDE MAN BRO GUY YESSSS!!!!!!! I LOVE!!!!!!! I JUST!!!!!! HAVE A SOFT SPOT FOR THE OTHERWISE NORMAL GUYS WITH OBSCENE MUSCLES LIKE DARKSHINE AND TTM!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!!!

ASDFGHHJKL Did Destrochloridium just shout Itadakimasu?? HULU y u no translate that??? DOI as he gets smooshed pfffffftttttttttttt omg the sound pls ohmigod everyone knows steel is no match for a hardened body i just fukken HEKK I love this show so much pls he sounds so concerned that destro DIDNT know that

“Better step up” OH MY GOD YES DO THE THING

OK WAIT This is actually badass and not just a joke?? Darkshine, er, Blackluster(??) stop u r 2 good I cant handle it rn

oooohhhhHH OH OH OH OH PLS SHOW EVERYONE I WANT PLS THE MONSTER ASSOCIATION!!! PLS!! SHOW ME WIFE?? CADRES?? PLZ?? yo total side note but I LOVE Murata’s monster designs?? Every time I reread opm I just oogle at a new one I never noticed before they’re all so unique and good. Also At least 3 of them in this sequence look like pokemon i swear- lol the silence no applause, if that was a joke in the manga i totally missed it uuuuwaAAAAAAAAAAA SCREAMING SCREAMING I AM SCREAM CADRE YES YES ASDFGHJKL ARE YALL READY TO SEE T H  A T FACE FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES THUS FAR???? HUH????

ew oh wait I actually feel bad for Awakened Cockroach, and he twitches after getting eaten oh noooooonono ew oh no dude im sorry no AAAAAAAAA WIFE HELLO oh their voices are so sad when they’re terrified for their lives I dont like it :[ ITS OK UR SAFE 4 NOW ILY PLZ BE CAREFUL AND STAY AWAY FROM PRETTY MEN 

YES THIS EPISODE IS GIVING ME EVERYTHING IVE  WANTED SO FAR THANK YOU SO MUCH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOOOOOOOK AAT THEMMMMMM

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMY TRASH SON I HAVE MISSED YOU OH NO MY EYES THERES WATER IN MY EYES HELP ILY

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMYCYBORG SON MY HEART I WEAK GENOS BB PLS BE CAREFUL ILY TOO hey heres a WACKY  and TOTALLY LoOnEy IdEa, what if,,,,,,,,,,,,,,WHAT-IFF,,,,,,,,,,, everyone was HAPPY???? Crazy I knowww I just want the best for my sons and babies and children boys wives daughters loves and husband, is it so much to ask???

Oh my god he looks so Sad here please no Genos everything will be ok please don’t be reckless do not be reckless listen to Dr. Kuseno you fool 

[SCREAMING] ASDFGGHJKL LOOKIT HIM EATING OH MY GOD MY BOY MY DELINQUENT SON GET BETTER SOON oh my god i started out fine this episode but its KILLING ME there are TOO MANY PEOPLE AT ONCE i CANNOT BREATH

CHILD EMPEROR MY SON I LOVE YOU TOO BOFOI UR AN ASS oh my god please can you even TRY to be a good mentor for the kid???? Thats it Zombieman adopt him pls remove shitty Bofoi influence replace with Best dad man influence. ANYWAY ok that was a tangent huh oops sorry. Ok but look at him. Child Emperor is genuinely adorable and a sweetheart poor kid don’t lose your faith in adults.

Uh, the episode is running late still not to Garou yet either?? hmmmmmmmmm again I’m getting nervous are they gonna rush it?? lol the saitama throwaway OH OH FINALLY OMG MY HEART ISNT READY MY FAVORITE GAROU IN THE WHOLE SERIES OH MY GOD

im… im screaming… i love these two so much it hurts it does really. I was not prepared for how adorable it was possible to make Tareo either can I hug?? I must hugg?? And Garou’s voice is so calming and he’s being so sweet? I was really expecting to sound more… i dont know, whiney? Every time he shows up on the screen I love him more and more ffs

This is such a good shot. Desktop wallpaper material right here.

Oh my god, this moment. And the music is just yanking my heart strings stop.

Oh yeah, they interrupt right. I like these heroes and all, but none of them are particular faves the fact that I think SO MANY OTHER FAVES were are RIGHT before them this ep just kinda overshadows their existence for me. I think this is the ONLY time in the series where Garou goes up against heroes and i cheer for him 110%, don’t even feel a little bad about who he’s beating the shit out of, and that’s kinda messed up of me but thats how impartial I am towards all these guys?

Back to Garou and I love him. hhhhh.

He smak the table

He laughs. Oh no his laugh. OPM forcefully dislocated me from the underworld to watch this episode and has thusly YEETED ME TO HEAVEN THAT LAUGH. I really need Garou to be happy.

Do you see this man? Do you see him? I do and I’m crying thank you

Omg I got really caught up it watching them talk but the sparkles around death gatling whe Tareo was looking at them snapped me out of it. oi I cant handle this. Garou I want you to know that you have successfully turned the bad guy into the one everyone wants to win. You did it boy you did

WOAHMYGOD THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

OH MY GOD AND THE MUSIC IM SCREAMING

GAROU

YOU

ARE  

AMAZING SON

like I know how this goes but I’m so anxious anyway the hhhhhhhhhhhhh the fight choreography is a little clunky but I don’t care OH ok cool Glasses actually kept his little spotlight nice but Garou GAROU PLS B CAREFUL OK except WHAT THE FUCK IS HIS MOUTH DOING THAT LOOKS SO STUPID WHAT THE HELL?? HOLY SHIT IM GETTING DIZZY STOP wh- wh- wait no. NO IM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET COME BACK PLEASE I NEED MORE WAIT NO UHG this is my reaction at the end of every episode when will I learn?????????????? never. The answer is never.

NO POST CREDITS STINGER and AS MUCH AS I LOVE GENOS’S FACE I already knew he would be in the episode next week. Yall I am so lost as to where the final episode will land. WTF.

This ep was a roller coaster oh my god. Non stop plot not that the tournament is done, and we saw like EVERY CHARACTER my feeble heart could not keep up. The ONLY thing that bothered me was part of the fight sequence at the end, like it was half drawn beautifully half animated so stiff and blocky ??? Threw me for a loop. But next week is only gonna get more intense??? I’m gonna guess we’ll get through the Elder Centipede fight??? But then what does that mean for the last episode??? I am full of SO MANY QUESTIONS??? I really don’t want the season to end yet, 12 eps is not enough. There’s only 2 more. Just. I’m not ready to let go of my bbs it feels like I only JUST got them… Well! Before I devolve into more of a blubbering mess, thanks yall so much for reading!!! As always, see yall next week!

[fuckyoucanada]

Hym. What about the rest of Konoha 12? Is Tobirama trying to mentor them? Did Shikamaru guess something was definitely wrong with his colleagues?

I already mentioned hinata and neji, so here’s the others:

Kiba: Naruto and Sasuek smell weird to him and he tends to suspiciously watch them whenever they get near him. Yeah everybody has their own unique scents and stuff but they smell like the dust from the really old scrolls his mother wont ever let him touch, and he always sneezes when hes around them for too long.

theyre pretty alright besides that. naruto always pets akamaru whenever he sees him and kiba once caught sasuke slipping akamaru some of the high quality beef jerky.

shino: his bugs tend to not like going towards team 7. naruto has chakra more like fire than any other konoha nin shino has faced and sasuke’s ability to pull water jutsus out of his ass is concerning to a bug user who doesnt want his bugs to drown without warning. he otherwise has no problem with them; tobirama once showed him a rare breeding ground for a bug shino’s clan thought extinct and shino has seen Madara take a spider outside rather than stepping on them.

ino: she had a crush on sasuke back in the academy, but after her falling out with sakura, sasuke told her that she shouldnt pick a boy over a best friend. then he mentioned that if he ever did want to date a girl, they would have to be strong and be able to show that they held strong bonds with their comrades. while ino made up with sakura because of what he said, she lost her crush soon after when she saw how naruto got a bigger reaction out of sasuke then anyone she had ever seen. quite clearly the boys were lost on each other and she might be pigheaded, but she also knew when to throw in the towel. she regularly has lovely chats with naruto that involve the language of flowers and their history, oddly enough, in the uchiha clan.

choji: a lot of kids made fun of choji’s size and when he was younger he really only had shikamaru to rely on to defend him. that is, until naruto hears a couple of newly minted genin picking on him. the blonde eviscerated them with his words, his shouting the loudest thing choji had ever heard. when choji asked him why he defended him naruto had simply said “we all carry fire inside us; we should be fanning it, not trying to extinguish the flame.” ever since then, when people called naruto an idiot, choji made a point to disagree. he might be loud and a bit scatter brained, but naruto was in no way dumb.

shikamaru: naruto and sasuke arent who they pretend to be. shikamaru could go on about the details sasuke shared about the warring states era that he had no way of knowing, or naruto’s proficiency at uchiha clan jutsu that even sasuke couldnt do, but it would be too troublesome to bother. besides, the one time he voiced his suspicions of the two, an irate sakura cornered him the next day and threatened to wedgie him into nonexistance if he didn’t leave her teammates alone. women were dangerous and shikamaru wouldnt dare mess with them.

tenten: she actually doesnt have a lot of interaction with team 7, but she has seen the positive effect naruto’s loud speech had on neji. she sees how neji becomes less sharp, more caring, after naruto tells him that life might now be fair, that the generations before us might have failed, but thats no excuse for us to fail as well. the circle of hatred needed to end; let neji letting go of his own vendetta be the start of a new wheel. she appreciates the change in her teammate and whenever naruto comes into her father’s weapon shop and shes working, she always gives him a discount.

lee: lee feels different from the others. he tries not to let his inability to use chakra like the others affect him, but hes young and still trying to find himself. after the chunin exams, everyone is a lot nicer to him, they show their appreciation for the amount of work he puts in. he is approached one day by a neutral faced sasuke who asks to observe his workout routine. what was originally a one week endeavor turns into an every morning thing where sasuke will show up at the training grounds and idly chat to lee as he stretches and practices his katas. the uchiha will occasionally watch him before writing something down. he’ll stay and keep lee company until gai-sensei shows up and sasuke has to leave to meet his own team. it makes lee smile.

its not so much mentor them as show them that they have the potential to be so much more than the previous generation. they cant let the past get in the way of their own progress. tobirama is sort of hesitant to really try to mentor anyone after the way his own students turned out. madara thinks hes being stupid, he cant blame himself for the decisions adults make long after he was dead, but tobirama doesnt ever listen to him, so instead he tries and facilitates friendships between tobirama and their graduating class. he doesnt let the younger nin get lost in his own head.

[tumblunni]

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

[beelieveinfandom]

Sethany

Some stuff from the chat about a noncat that is godmod canon the new main character of the AU. Someone write this fic please.

matt-Today at 2:16 AM hey y'all okay so thought: u know how black cats always look like the void with eyes when u take a photo of them right? here's my idea, void with eyes that vaguely resembles a cat and is taken in by an old lady with failing eyesight

LumiKat117-Today at 2:17 AM Sooo it would look like a cat

((Also cats are the best ever))

matt-Today at 2:18 AM old lady: hey look at my cat i love him anyone with actual functioning eyes: ................... uh

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:18 AM What does this blob of void feel like?

LumiKat117-Today at 2:18 AM Pffft yeah Soft silky fur Like how Nightmare wool feels like real wool just uber soft and silky

matt-Today at 2:19 AM oh yeah of course the void is soft and silky smooth

LumiKat117-Today at 2:20 AM What would its name be?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:20 AM Mittens

matt-Today at 2:20 AM whiskers

LumiKat117-Today at 2:20 AM Ebony

matt-Today at 2:20 AM oh no i change my mind mittens is better ndksksksksk

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:20 AM Something really stereotypical

LumiKat117-Today at 2:20 AM Lol

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:21 AM This old lady isn't the most creative person on the planet but damn does she love her "cat"

matt-Today at 2:21 AM or maybe something like an actual human name like timothy or geronimo

LumiKat117-Today at 2:21 AM I like Ebony

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:21 AM Sethany

LumiKat117-Today at 2:22 AM Sith

matt-Today at 2:22 AM SETHANY

LumiKat117-Today at 2:22 AM Sith like from Star Wars

matt-Today at 2:22 AM no that's the name of her other cat who is like. a default grey tabby

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:22 AM Are you implying that Miskebonany might be evil??

LumiKat117-Today at 2:23 AM Pffft

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:23 AM How dare you imply that Miskerbonany might be anything other then a perfect darling

LumiKat117-Today at 2:23 AM No

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:23 AM So what does Sith think of their "sibling"?

LumiKat117-Today at 2:23 AM I think that it would be like the most affectionate 'cat' ever

matt-Today at 2:24 AM i'm not sure if it's funnier if sith ADORES little sethany or can't stand it

LumiKat117-Today at 2:25 AM How about both? Like one moment they would be cuddling and then the next they would be hissing at each other

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:25 AM Well, Sith would be hissing. The other one doesn't make noises

they just

ooze

LumiKat117-Today at 2:26 AM Lol

matt-Today at 2:26 AM they don't knock stuff of tables they.... absorb

LumiKat117-Today at 2:26 AM Lmao

matt-Today at 2:27 AM "sethany darling have you seen my glasses" [a shlurping noise is heard offscreen]

LumiKat117-Today at 2:27 AM My two cats kinda get along but the smaller one won't let the bigger one get close or she swats him

matt-Today at 2:28 AM m̸̀͡ę̢̀o̗͇̕w͜͏̝

LumiKat117-Today at 2:28 AM Lol

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:29 AM Oh god and they don't meow, they literally say "meow" like a human would total monotone.

matt-Today at 2:29 AM YES like text-to-speech

LumiKat117-Today at 2:29 AM YES And it sounds like Siri

matt-Today at 2:30 AM hey sethany do i have any appointments today? m e o w

LumiKat117-Today at 2:31 AM What if Sethany and the old lady actually talk but to anyone else they just hear the monotone meows?

matt-Today at 2:31 AM hmmmmmmmmmm i'm conflicted because it's Quality when it's one speaking normally and the other in monotone meows

LumiKat117-Today at 2:32 AM Like they just think the old lady is crazy and she just thinks her cat is special and purrfect

matt-Today at 2:32 AM you say that like sethany ISNT special and perfect haha nice

LumiKat117-Today at 2:32 AM I had to

matt-Today at 2:33 AM of course

LumiKat117-Today at 2:33 AM And it is purrfect and special Oh What if it LOVES CAT PUNS

matt-Today at 2:34 AM oh fuck yes when someone tells a really bad one they hear m e o w m e o w m e o w and sethany comes patting around the corner

LumiKat117-Today at 2:35 AM And it just curls up in their lap until they tell it all the puns they know

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:35 AM Which sounds cute until you realize it's really more of a hostage situation. You cannot get up if Sethany is on your lap

you just can't

matt-Today at 2:36 AM they are Here and therefore you are Also Here

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:37 AM

LumiKat117-Today at 2:37 AM It's like you've become a purrmanent fixture of the furrniture Lol yes Gremlin

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:38 AM Ots supposed to be sethany

Sethany cannot be photographed

matt-Today at 2:40 AM i mean they CAN be photographed but..... it's not really sethany

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:40 AM

LumiKat117-Today at 2:40 AM YES

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:42 AM Yes thats it

matt-Today at 2:42 AM YEAH sethany the void cat folks i think we just won the transcendence au

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:43 AM

matt-Today at 2:43 AM it's not gonna get better than this

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:43 AM That's really cute somehow?

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:43 AM Sethany in the dreamscape

matt-Today at 2:44 AM perfect amazing wonderful

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:44 AM

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:44 AM oh that's good

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:45 AM Void with eyes Sethany is best notcat

matt-Today at 2:47 AM

"m e o w" -sethany

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:53 AM Cuddling Sith

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:53 AM gasp

Zilleniose-Today at 2:53 AM okay guys I'm reworking tau, alcor is no longer the main character

matt-Today at 2:53 AM o h m y

Zilleniose-Today at 2:54 AM all hail sethany

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:54 AM A L L H A I L

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:54 AM Sethany is the one

H A I L S E T H A N Y

matt-Today at 2:54 AM rip alcor 201?-2017 you won't be missed because we have sethany now

Zilleniose-Today at 2:54 AM

A L L H A I L

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:55 AM ALL HAIL

LumiKat117-Today at 2:55 AM Daww

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:55 AM 2014-2017 ftr

LumiKat117-Today at 2:55 AM Pffft What if Sethany and Alcor were friends?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:56 AM Okay so now we need to figure out exactally where Sethany fits into the AU That would work

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:56 AM Sethany is alcors notpet

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:56 AM although Alcor tends not to like cats, how would he feel about a "cat"?

Zilleniose-Today at 2:56 AM please... can sethany float too, like. this little old lady sees an amorphous floating cat, drifting sideways and saying "M E O W" and sees nothing wrong with this

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:56 AM Even he doesnt know what it really is But it comes to him for food every now and then

LumiKat117-Today at 2:56 AM It could be like the personification of the void in his hat

matt-Today at 2:56 AM sethany ABSOLUTELY floats

LumiKat117-Today at 2:57 AM Catification*

Zilleniose-Today at 2:57 AM just kinda. like a lava lamp.

very slowly. blooping

matt-Today at 2:57 AM they kinda drip a little too i guess the old lady thought they were wet when she found them?

"sethany where HAVE you been it's a gorgeous day outside"

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:58 AM (i love sethany and everything it is and is not)

Zilleniose-Today at 2:58 AM no mouth to be seen. how it eats and talks is a mystery

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:58 AM One not even alcor knows.

matt-Today at 2:58 AM noises just kind of....... emanate

LumiKat117-Today at 2:58 AM Would it be an it or would it want to have a gender like Xie?

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:58 AM Food is just kinda... Absorbed

Enveloped

BeelieveInBees-Today at 2:59 AM I think I'm going to keep using they/them for Sethany

matt-Today at 2:59 AM phagocytosis

Zilleniose-Today at 2:59 AM I think if you asked sethany's preferred pronouns, they'd reply "M E O W"

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 2:59 AM And it because whatever it identofies as is incomprehensible to people Think of the paperwork

LumiKat117-Today at 3:00 AM Hey Bee, you should make a fic for Sethany

matt-Today at 3:00 AM the old lady taking sethany in to be microchipped tho

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:00 AM But I already have so many fics anyway I'm not great at stuff without much plot

LumiKat117-Today at 3:00 AM Oml that would be funny

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:00 AM 'lady we cant do that'

Zilleniose-Today at 3:00 AM this is perfect bc I too, am an amorphous blob of only semi-existence that sleeps most of the day and likes mice

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:00 AM 'lady it doesnt have a body'

LumiKat117-Today at 3:01 AM Like the vet is just so awkward but the lady is just so sweet and they can't really say no

matt-Today at 3:01 AM 'lady please i'm telling you this is not a cat'

Zilleniose-Today at 3:01 AM "yes sethany is very unique" "that's. that's not."

LumiKat117-Today at 3:01 AM But she's so insistant So they give up trying to convince her and try to chip Sethany anyway

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:02 AM Floating

matt-Today at 3:02 AM ooooooo i love it

LumiKat117-Today at 3:02 AM And the chip... works?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:02 AM The chip constantly states that Sethany is in about 15 different places at once

LumiKat117-Today at 3:02 AM They have no idea how

matt-Today at 3:03 AM the vet: ???????????? the lady: see, that wasn't so hard was it dear

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:03 AM It breaks the vets sanity each time sethany gets brought in

LumiKat117-Today at 3:03 AM Pffft I can just imagine that an intern sees Sethany and is like, totally chill with it Oh, what if the Old Lady is a R!Lazy Susan?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:04 AM Oh that's how we could tie them in. One of the Pines goes into animal medicine And be that intern And be like "hey grunks, you gotta check out this cat"

LumiKat117-Today at 3:05 AM Pffft No wait What if the old lady IS Lazy Susan?

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:05 AM That would be great actually Sethany just shows up to the diner one day Just wanting to absorb some pie tins.

LumiKat117-Today at 3:06 AM @GODMOD Someone should post this to the Tumblr

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:06 AM And Suzan just scoops them up and starts talking And Sethany falls in love

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:06 AM Yeeeees

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:07 AM I can screencap it

LumiKat117-Today at 3:07 AM Welcome to the AU Sethany Now someone needs to write a fic where Sethany meets Alcor when the Pines Clan come to the Diner Maybe the Trips are like, 18?

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:09 AM The trips love them

LumiKat117-Today at 3:10 AM I can see the trips cat sitting

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:10 AM Hmmm, maybe before the trips are born but after henry? Think, sethany triplet sitting

matt-Today at 3:10 AM no that's a bit of a risk they might.... absorb the children they'd come out okay but

LumiKat117-Today at 3:11 AM Nah, I think Sethany can control the absorbing

matt-Today at 3:13 AM oh yeah they can definitely control it

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:13 AM Sethany can definitely control the absorbing or Suzan would be in big trouble

matt-Today at 3:13 AM whether or not they want to no one tells cats what to do, void notcats included unfortunately nsjsjsjs this is a joke btw sethany wouldn't eat a child

BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:14 AM not unless they were a really annoying child

matt-Today at 3:14 AM problematic customer? no more

LumiKat117-Today at 3:16 AM lol BeelieveInBees-Today at 3:19 AM That just makes me think of Sethany as actually working at the restaurant

tinylittlegremlin-Today at 3:20 AM Yes  

[schlenanigans]

Sundown on Cape Town

[JANUARY 30, 2019]

Howzit ma brus?

What a whirlwind few weeks in the Mother City!! I cannot believe my time in Cape Town already came and went. Between spending half the last weekend in the Winelands and the other driving down the Cape to see the southwestern-most point of Africa and the PENGUINS at Boulders Beach (along with some of the best fish & chips EVER), the time flew by, but man did we have a good time! 

I realize that in my last post I did a very poor job of laying out exactly what I am doing, for those of you that I did not explain it all to in person :)

Remote Year is the name of a company that offers 4- and 12-month itineraries around the world. I was picked by my company to choose an itinerary; I was given 4 options and the one I chose was here in Africa and Europe… the company has many itineraries going in different areas at once, both 4 and 12; mine is a 4-monther called Kuungana, which means “connect” in Swahili…. and did I mention there are 50 of us? We did our first month here in the Mother City, head next to Marrakesh for 5 weeks, followed by 4 weeks each in Lisbon and Valencia. Each group has a Program Leader accompanying them to all the cities on the itinerary; our mama on Kuungana is Jen, a wonderfully bubbly and funny Aussie who has been living the nomad life for 4 years and been working for Remote Year for over 2— she rules. Once you have completed a program, you can jump into any city where there is a group and take advantage of the activities and resources that RY makes available to their newly christened Citizens (what they call folks who have finished a program). Obviously, I am already making big plans to figure out where I am going in May once my run with Kuungana has ended.  

But I digress. With the whole setup of Remote Year, you truly do feel like you have an entire network in the city you find yourself, and there is always someone willing to go find a new restaurant or explore a new neighborhood. They encourage everyone to get to know EVERYone, which is actually kind of nice, as you find yourself able to talk to anyone in the group and have shared interesting interpersonal experiences in close proximity. And did I mention there are 50 of us in the Kuungana fam?  It’s also interesting to learn bit by bit about what people do for work and how they form work habits in a remote environment. Some people are adhering strictly to their American work hours; others are not working at all. Some of use hang in the workspace til 11PM, others are early birds knocking out their tasks in the early morning. Today we actually had an “UNconference’, a quick event where everyone presented one slide about what they do, like to talk about, can offer to teach other, and want to learn from others…it was such a neat opportunity to understand how people got here, but also get an idea of the great resources available when you bring together a group of gifted and talented people, to see what other ways we can work and learn. Everyone is so eager to help, it is pretty freakin rad to see.

I have already gotten really close with my “tramily”— my travel family (an RY term, not mine)— and it’s pretty interesting to reflect upon the relationships forged in the first month, both with the other Remotes and with the folks on the city teams and who work for Remote Year. Obviously, I am already making big plans to figure out where I am going in May once my run with Kuungana has ended.

As my month in Cape Town came to a close, I found myself reflecting on the time warp… it feels like I just got there … and now I have already left. I was so sad to be leaving “so soon”… but I am also filled with excitement and anticipation at what this next stop brings. January has been a true emotional rollercoaster— mostly highs, a couple lows, with a little stress in the mix to keep me honest. It feels like Cape Town was sort of a holiday, one on which I had to work, but also one on which I went NON.STOP. Seriously, no sleep. So, it will be nice to chill and spend a little more time alone and reflecting…. this whole journey is one of the crazier things I have had the opportunity to do in my life— and I have had a lot of crazy opportunities— and I am determined to squeeze every last drop out of the experiences; I remain unbelievably grateful. I have met amazing people, seen amazing sights, learned a lot about South Africa and its history and people, (hit some pretty rad parties,) and found myself feeling so at home and in love with the place. I was SO not ready to leave, and I already can’t wait to go back. (And I am still convinced I will marry a South African…)

I know I promised to be good about sharing, through photos and more…. This month I did not do a good job on ye olde social media; but I hope you all know that I have been living my best life, enjoying the moments to the fullest, and feeling incredibly blessed to share every second with people that I love, whether I knew them before getting here or met them upon arrival. Having Kristina and Nadia and Kelsey from home be around to get a glimpse into what this whole thing is (and drive convertibles down the coast of Africa while on a carrot cake tour for the ages) has been so special and SOOOO fun. I said it before, I’ll say it again: this is a life-changer.

🇲🇦Next stop: MOROCCO!!!! 🇲🇦

We left Saturday for our new home in Marrakech— two ~9-hour flights and a 3-hour bus ride away. The whole group of us traveled together (kids’ stuff—reminded me of Plexcon, traveling with a big ol’ group—we. got. this.). This city around, we are living in the same apartment complex (we were split across two here in CT), with new roommates, 25 min from the famous Medina marketplace and 20 min from our workspace, which is in the hip, up-and-coming part of town. Our city team here is a married couple from Marrakech and from our exposure thus far, they are sweet and knowledgeable and lovely and very enamored with their home (they both served the military, she as an engineer and he as a pilot, and they are amazing tour guides). So far it looks like the opportunities for doing unique, awesome things are vast and varied; I have already signed up for a leather workshop, a cooking class, and a heritage tour of the city (this one starts in about 8 hours)… camel rides on the Sahara are also on the table, and I already just know the shopping is insane.

On our first night (Sunday) a small group of us went “for a quiet dinner after our 25 hours of travel” and ended up sitting in a beautiful Moroccan restaurant for 3.5 hours eating delicious food, listening to live music, which was then interrupted by a show complete with belly dancers and women gyrating and shaking with trays of candelabras on their heads…. all followed by shisha (hookah) brought to the table after dinner…to accompany the most insane salted caramel dessert ever. Another wonderful, memorable, completely unexpected welcome to our new home. This morning we went for a traditional breakfast in the marketplace and had warm flatbread with eggs and khlii, a fermented meat mixed in, with the most delicious mint tea ever…. For about $3.60. YES.) The food does NOT disappoint here.

Morocco has already proven different from Cape Town in many ways; from the slower pace of activities organized by RY (orientations, etc.) to the dynamic of the workspace (pic above), as we share it with a whole bunch of entrepreneurs and remote workers who are not associated with RY. It is not as fancy schmancy as the one in CT, but we do have a delightful rooftop deck with reliable internet where we can work outside for the few hours that it is warm enough in the sun. (YES, it’s cold here. Really cold.) They do have some educational meetings set up for us to learn about language and culture, which is awesome to help us navigate the city, and—surprising to many—it is actually safer for us to walk around at night here than it was in Cape Town (albeit much more psycho drivers here!). I was at the workspace til late tonight and walking after 11 I wouldn’t have dared back in CT; here I feel fine walking with just one other girl the 20 min back home. (Which reminds me, I had my iPhone stolen on my very last night in Cape Town….unfortunate, and I am not proficient with the backup android I am using, so my photo quality has really taken a nosedive...)

☝My new home sweet home for the next 5 weeks!

Morocco promises to be pretty amazing; it is exciting to be in a place I have never been before and that is so completely different from really anywhere else I have been. The culture here is such an interesting mix of histories and the way Moroccans view themselves as a nation is fascinating, given how different it is in the rest of Africa, the Arab nations, and Europe. I am so excited to walk around, exploring, getting to know a new place, and to meet the people and eat alllllll the food.

So, month one down in the Mother City! We will be here in Marrakesh for 5 weeks, followed by 4 weeks each in Lisbon and Valencia. Again, please reach out if you have any questions about any of this— even if it's about being new to juggling time zones or what I have been eating. It’s always fun to hear back…. And I am amazed if you made it to the end!

[poeplepound]

!!! i !!!! love these guys so much!! theyre so spectacular omfg !

also i tried to do this once already ! and i was very far into a very long info dump about these guys and i was ALmost done ,,, and my browser crashed, but im doing it again anyway because i need it (i might make typos and sound like a bum jus btw)

sean bonnette and benjamin gallaty started releasing musci together in 2005 after having worked together in a coffeeshop in pheonix arizona - sean was 18, and the buds released their debut album “candy cigarettes and cap guns” and have since released four other full albums, a handful of singles, two eps, and a compilation

sean has a bachelors degree in social work, and has always been working in homeless shelters, volunteering with youth programs, and trying to give a voice to one of the largest groups of stigmatized humans on our planet

candy cigarettes and cap guns was released when sean (30 y/o) was only 18 - and he has since recieved lots of negative feedback on offensive content in ajj’s older songs - to this, sean apologizes but says , quite frankly , that he was a yung edgy boi at that time in his life, and even if his music was offensive then , it represents a time in his life and hes not going to let its content discount that relevance

this is similar to how ajj changed their name from “Andrew jackson jihad”, sean and ben publicly decided to stop using the old band name because they aren’t muslim and have to right to use the term jihad as a part of an aesthetic - neither of the guys expected ajj to get so big, and andrew jackson jihad was adequate for a yung edgy boi garage band

ajjs vast discography centers around themes of social anxiety, privilege, depression, mania, loving how horrible life is, making the most of nothing, being nothing, and how wonderful our shitty planet is

ajj is considered folk-punk, and to a certain degree i agree with that, but to me music genres are irrelevant, and often times musicians fail to fit a category

the idea of organizing music by genres is restricting to a musician and songs and music grow as people do.  in an interview with verbicide, sean said that he acknowledges ajj’s influence on “folk punk” but how the identification of what folk-punk actually is is very vague and unclear, what really Is folk-punk?

ajj has albums that are way more based in folk music, and some that are way more based in punk - some songs are very poppy, some kind of choral in nature - but somehow, ajj has a very cohesive, recognizable sound that never fails to impress and comfort me

this is in part to sean’s wonderful lyrics, they are so very very raw and uncut - he is incredibly relatable while staying poetic, and i admire that So Much.  his use of metaphor in his lyrics has alwasy been apparent, but even more so in his more recent albums, and his political commentary songs are more prevalent in older songs - but they stay SO RE l AT a b LE !! every time i listen to ajj, i feel so whole and accepted and like im listening to my deepest internal thoughts and feelings in the form of beautiful lyrics and entrancing music

when asked if sean’s lyrics are a reflection of a darkness inside of him, he usualyl replies by saying that hes no darker than anyone else is - he just has a way to express and expel that darkness.  after the release of knife man, sean was asked if his emotional songs were about his past and what he’s been through as a person, and hes replied by saying that a lot of what he sings about is stuff that hes seen through his job, and learned about through people he’s met and interacted with.

shortly before christmas island was recorded, sean’s grandfather passed away.  his grandpa had lived with him from the time he was 13 tot he time he was 18, and he was a very major male role model in his life.  christmas island has lots of imagery around death, and a lot of the songs on the album personify grief and death.  sean has said that christmas island is an album about “pre-grief” meaning the way that people feel bad about death and grieve loses before theyve even happen, just beause they know theyre coming.  sean’s grandfather’s death was not unexpected or sudden, and he died very happily - surrounded by all of his grandchildren, and the feeling of knowing someone you love will die shortly is what fueled a lot of the tone of christmas island.

sean is a big big fan of 90′s hip hop, and a lot of his lyrics and writing style is heavily influenced by his favorites - aesop rock, brother lynch hung, biggie, and ol dirty bastard (seriously sean is SO Iconic)

i’ve been listening to ajj since their release of “knife man” in 2011, i could never pick a favorite album of theirs  - i love each of them and theyre each incredibly important to me

their 2007 album “people who can eat people are the luckiest people in the world” gave me a completely new worldview , and showed me that the world is incredibly imperfect, and humans are incredibly imperfect, but life is so worth living, and there is still so much good amazing stuff in the world

in 2008 they released the ep “plant your roots” and in 2009 “cant maintain” - both of theses eps were the first time i had found relatable emotional music that felt so accurate to myself - it was raw, it was unapologetic, it was beautiful, and it was sad.  these eps have an incredible tone, and theyre both so different (cant maintain being more light and - dare i say - playful) but still so connected and deeply rooted (pun intended ;) ) in my head as near perfect expressions of my feelings

“knife man” was released in 2011 and it came into my life at a time where i was trying to learn about myself and discover who i was, and this album guided me in such a strong positive direction - it introduced me to white privilege, taught me about forgiveness, how to be unapologetically me, but still let me stay in touch with my dark, cynical, pessimistic side of myself - knife man is somehow so negative but still so positive and i think thats how a lot of real life is, and ajj captures that incredibly well 

knife man was the first ajj show i ever saw, and i will never forget how captivating sean is when he preforms, his body language and his expressions reflect so much of what he’s singing, theyre so true

in 2014 they released “christmas island” and im not gonna lie when i first heard it i really didnt like it - i thought it was too poppy, and not raw enough like how ajj usually is - it felt wrong to me.  but alas, i kept listening, and i soon fell in love with this album.  it is indeed poppier than their other stuff, and when it came out in may of that year, i didnt really want to like it that much - and so i avoided it, and once Taylor Swift’s super poppy 1989 came out that october, i avoided it Even Harder because i felt like 2014 would be the year of great musicians selling out to labels to gain hits.  eventually, i let myself sink into christmas island - i allowed myself to like it, and boy o boy did i fall in love. i saw the show and i cried. the album seamlessly ties together themes from older albums - optimism, death, unrest, self-loathing - but it introduces a new style to seans words - theyre less direct, less blunt, less in-your-face , he starts using metaphors that dont make sense the first time you listen, his lyrics take on a new type of poetry on this album - and its beautiful

christmas island is softer, its more about introspection and knowing why youre the way you are - its about emotional intelligence - this album taught me how to know whats happening, and how to accept it and learn form it and let myself dream and live, despite how shitty stuff is, and i love it.

in 2016 “the bible 2″ was released, and i waited to listen to any of it until i went to see the show - i binged the album twice through right before i went to see them, and i had really really mixed feelings about it - some of the songs i didnt understand, i didnt like the sound of some of them, and i felt like they got very preachy.  once i saw them play the song “small red boy” though, i was 110% hooked - it suddenly made sense to me as an album.  the sound is so personal to me, and i connect with the radio static and the messy raw noise, and the lyrics take on such a poetic, innocent tone, and all the songs are equal parts inspiring, funny, and dark.  i really really really truly love this album.

this is kind of just a silly extra, but in 2015 they released a single called “keep on chooglin” and i honeslty dont understand what most of the song means, but its really a bop and its poppy and upbeat and positive, and i can gather that basically to “choogle” is to be yourself unapologetically and just do your own thing and basically fucc the haters, and its a nice song to listen to if youre feeling down because the lyrics are funny and the message is bright

ajj’s discography has gotten me through some of the hardest years of my life, and have seriously, literally, kept me from killing myself on so many occasions and i am forever grateful - if i had not stayed alive until now, i would miss so much and i would throw away my life, just because i didnt feel like making it, and now i can say in full confidence that this band has ridded me of all my suicidal ideation , and if anyone is down here reading this, im gonna make an ajj “dont die” playlist that i Will post here

in 2012, ben gallaty recorded a couple songs under the name wiccan babysitter, adn then a few years later (2016) he recorded a few more under the name benjamin galaxy - he compiled these songs in 2016 onto an lp, one side being the wiccan babysitter ep and the other being the ben galaxy ep.  i didnt know this was a thing until recently? which is weird? but i have listened through the lp many times - i still dont have a strong grip on what the songs mean, but i can say that the wiccan babysitter/benjamin galaxy lp is super comforting to me as well.  the sound is unique and different from ajj, but it is still warm and whole feeling, and the lyrics are still relatable to me, and i want to read more about what ben wrote about and why, but im having trouble finding info on this project

im mostly done for now, it’s very late at night, and i have work tomorrow morning, but i’ll leave u with this - youre an irreplaceable human soul with your own understanding of what it means to suffer, and thats a huge bummer

[pinksweatergettingbetter]

“at least the jury is still out on that one, so to speak”

so to speak is right, phoenix :T

-

“I WANTED TO KILL YOU. WAAHHHH”

ok rayfa. easy there.

-

aw. the dad is so strong that he cant even bear to see the murder brat sad. 

hdgdhfgh im gonna die he’s trying to cheer her up by acting like the bad guy

at the risk of sounding tumblry, phoenix wright is a cinnamon roll, to pure or whatever 

-

...is this kooraheen’s ‘happy people’?

.....i don't like it

-

ahlbi doesn’t get to be an assistant but he does get to carry all my unwanted crap!

-

“first the high priest, and then his disciple! maya fey will pay for this!”

ah yes, she’ll pay for killing off people we recently proved to be dangerous insurgents. 

-

WHOA OK GRAPHIC 

-

well ok there’s no possible way Maya could have killed him that night.

“they think she came down the stairs and stabbed him” yes in front of 200 praying people. no, they weren't looking up but probably the sound of a knife being driven into flesh and also footsteps may have alerted them???

-

rayfa wants to know how a time of death is determined, not for real... but because she wants to know what the idiot groundlings believe ?

either she’s an idiot and she doesn’t realize its completely legitimate, or the writers are still trying to make fun of religion via the “science and religion don't mix” joke which quite frankly is getting REALLY TIRESOME

-

ok... well I'm not scientific expert but doesn’t the body eventually reach a steady temperature? how could you determine how long the body took to cool down if it was cooled down for a long enough period of time? also, it was really cold on that mountain. 

something tells me this will be useful later.

-

again capcom, pointing out how unlikely your plot is doesnt make it better. it makes it worse.

-

“I will curse you and your disciples for eight generations!”

I'm pretty sure apollo and the series has already been cursed, mrs. inmee.

-

every time she kisses his picture i cry 

-

Zehlot arrived at the same time as Maya, but Mrs. Inmee is more inclined to believe that Maya is a murderer? I mean yes she supposedly killed off the other two, but jeez. Talk about favouritism. 

-

they let us check out the trash again... simply for a joke about phoenix digging through trash. I'm not sure how to feel about this.

-

katchu-dehmal, eh? Pokémon gonna sue 

-

hey um mrs. inmee

you've got a little something on your wrist...............

-

“Puhray always prayed a lot”

the terrible naming convention just makes that sound incredibly stupid

-

“She may say these terrible things, but it was just the way she was raised, I guess”

um... a lesson in tolerance i guess

-

“I didn’t know him very well”

you didnt know the guy you stayed with for two years?? man i guess Puhray really did pray the most.

-

i love that theyre mentioning ramen and burgers

and also that phoenix is offering to buy for maya

its the little things that make this game liveable 

-

everybody loves steel samurai!!!

-

“Whooops... its coming undone... WHOA!”

yes, it is indeed a very sexy picture. nice legs.

-

“tentacled hag frog”

what is this, last airbender??

-

“a spirit’s memory is cut off at the moment of death”

well of course. that’s how Mia was able to come to court knowing what was going on and being able to set phoenix on the right direction!

genius retcon there, guys. I guess that’s why Mia doesn’t make a comeback in this game :/

-

“helped neighbouring countries seek counsel”

actually thats an interesting callback to the original games where they state that before DL-6, Misty and Kurain village were famous for helping out people in high places. this i do not mind so much.

... though i doubt this would prevent you being invaded, Kooraheen. Also considering she mentions ‘keeping their unique culture’ as an aside to that fact, and the fact that a lot of this fictional country is based off of Tibet... Ouch.

-

“ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS!!!”

hey, there’s that ol’ Khumerican spirit!

-

“so the queen can perform the dance of devotion? that’d be a sight to see”

Phoenix stop imaging the queen in a mini skirt.

-

“theres no reason to panic, the police are on his trail”

the police that let him run on foot out of a crowded courtroom. 

id say you can panic now.

-

in exchange for his visual youthfulness, phoenix has physically aged considerably.

meanwhile, Gregory Edgeworth was rocking major wrinkles at 35 and he was fit as a fiddle.

Oh Capcom, when will your beauty-based cruelty end??

-

are we legit going to search for Datz

-

ok now i rly wanna hear what a Warb’aad sounds like.

-

further proof that phoenix is a huge carnivore. i am pleased.

-

boy kooraheen isn't very accessible is it. stairs everywhere

-

i love that no matter where he is, phoenix is always buying food for children.

-

alright enough fun stuff. into the absurdly spacious sewer we go!

-

I'm legitimately laughing my ass off why is it so funny that Ahlbi didn’t know his dog could track scents????

-

AAA WE’RE IN

WE’RE IN A FUCKIN SEWER

IM YELLIN

-

...oh my god no... i stg... dont you dare 

OH GOD 

OHHH GOD 

fuck....

i dont know who’s stupider: the rebels or the police

-

he... can eat... an entire apple... that is half the size of his face... in one bite.

this, truly, is a man to be feared

ranger hobo, your new nickname is Potential Vore Machine

-

>phoenix likes apples

further proof he is a good boy

-

wow thats even worse

i thought they’d just put their base in the sewers, but no; their base is an OLD LAW OFFICE AKA THE FIRST PLACE YOU’D LOOK FOR LAWYER REBELS

again, not sure who’s stupider: the rebels, or the police?

-

“public enemy #1 is a lawyer? didnt see that coming”

clearly you expect more from this game, phoenix

-

“Im gonna sell out my best friend!”

>doubt

-

OH OK NEVER LOOK SURPRISED AGAIN CLOSE YOUR VORE MOUTH JESUS CHRIST

-

if he wasnt a rebel anymore he'd have kicked your ass since youre a lawyer, phoenix. its not that hard to put together that he’s lying. ...for some reason. 

-

LAME. YOU cant show him your badge??? bullshit.

-

fucking christ even when he whistles his mouth is larger than it should be. 

-

he really is rebel!larry isn’t he

-

so Dhurke has a power glare, huh? 

GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH, GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH, GLARE OFF WITH EDGEWORTH

-

��is this a law book? the dragon’s mark has been branded onto the cover...”

pfffttt edgy 

-

hmm. must be a new law-book if the defence culpability act is in it, since if i remember correctly that law was only recently introduced.

-

i love that Dhurke’s shit is just everywhere in this stupid house

-

...no way is he actually doing to

i...

like

i can’t even say punk’d. Phoenix, why would you try on a jacket that once belonged to a rebel leader while inside a rebel base that you’re not even sure is friendly to you? 

like i 

sense of preservation just goes out the window at the idea of looking cool?? actually to be fair that kind of makes sense for Phoenix so 

phoenix you should take it home and get it dry-cleaned.

-

“hmm this is an old photo...” says phoenix looking at a photo that’s as bright and shiny as the day it was taken. also he correctly guesses that it was taken 20 years ago based on... what evidence??

actually if he actually acknowledged that thats OBVIOUSLY APOLLO THERE then he’d have an actual metric to go by but NOPE! just bullshit magic deductions!

-

yeah or Nahyuta’s pulling a long game and you assholes are too impatient 

i cant believe I'm defending sadmad :/

-

WAIT A SECOND. ARE YOU TELLING ME....... THAT KID WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE APOLLO....... IS APOLLO?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

-

somehow Datz carried Phoenix through a tiny trapdoor and into this room huh

-

yay psyche locks!

-

YES!!!! YEEEEES!!! I GOT TO PRESENT MY BADGE

Soj... you may not be... completely horrible.

-

yeah phoenix, he was going to stab you if he thought you were on the side of the Queen

feel even stupider about that jacket now?

-

“Keera was working with the government the whole time?!”

well i mean what other motivation would they have? even if they were doing it for religious reasons that still lines up with the government’s intentions. 

this whole thing has a blacklisting smell on it too.

-

“a lawyer killed the queen, so the public turned against lawyers”

if that was how things worked, America would loath actors. 

-

“why does he have to jump like that before running off”

cause he’s a cartoon character 

-

“Well I guess we’re friends now”

oh phoenix 

my lonely baby

-

also where the fuck is Shah’do? That dog is a better policeman than every official in Kooraheen.

and i love that nobody notices people entering and exiting a sewer in broad daylight.  

-

well that was exactly where i thought it was

-

WOW GOOD GOING PHOENIX YOU DUMBFUCK

“HURRRHH I THINK ILL GO FIDN TH  SOOPER SECRET REBEL BASE WITH THE FUCKING PRINCESS IN-TOW. GENIUS!!!!”

OH YES, AND THEN TELL HER EXACTLY WHAT IT IS. AND THEN LET HER COME INSIDE WITH YOU WITHOUT THE INTENT TO SHUT HER UP

BRILLIANT!!

PHOENIX WRIGHT, TRULY THE REBEL’S GREATEST ALLY.

-

ohhhhHHHHHhhhh

well well well well well well

this is interesting

-

“I think I’ll take a picture of this super secret rebel base”

hhhnnngghhhh

-

search every nook and cranny eh

-

“if the rebellion ever happens, i hope its bloodless”

while that’s sweet of you phoenix, you can count on it now, sincE YOU’VE REVEALED THE SOURCE OF THEIR WEAPONRY TO THE ENEMY

-

“What’s this? A bloodstain?”

Hope it is not Chris’ bloodstain...

-

CURSED NOISE

CURSED NOISE

TURN IT OFF!!!

-

this is where capcom hides characters they don’t like

Klavier is somehwere in this room....... festering

-

well we’ve come to the end of another investigation 

tbh I'm starting to get into the storyline, though it still doesn’t feel like an Ace Attorney game

it’s more like... it’s like someone took their Ace Attorney AU and made an entire game about it. It’s got some cool points to it, but all in all, it just doesn’t... fit, I guess?

Oh well. onto trial #2 and saving Maya’s butt once again

[brightlytae]

angel, awe, baby, blossom, blush, bright, calm, cozy, cupcake, cute, cutie pie, daylight, dear, doll, dreams, euphoric, fairy, gem, giggles, heart, honey, hunnybunch, kitty, ladybug, love, magic, moonlight, munchkin, paddywack, precious, pretty, prince, princess, pumpkin, rainbow, smitten, snuggle, starlight, soft, toot, treasure, whiffle, whiskers, wiggly, and wispy.

angel: do you have a nickname? people normally just call me P, little P or Paoletta!

awe: How old are you? 21

baby: Fave colour? Purple and blue!

blossom: Favourite book/ movie/ song? book- The Princess Bride, movie- The Goonies, song- (ima stick to bts) Move, Spring day and Baepsae

blush: What was your stuffed animal as a child? I had this teddy bear called angel and I used to take her everywhere with me. I loved her so much seriously she was so soft and i used to buy little outfits for her and everything.

bright: Mermaids or fairies? damnnnnnn like a bitch loves both so much? Ima pick mermaids though just because im so attached to the sea and water in general.

calm: Favourite scent? vanilla!

cozy: eye/hair colour? I have green eyes and ashy blonde hair. Im naturally brunette though. 

cupcake: Favourite flower/plant? Lotus flowers, blossoms, cacti, money plants (this is what my famo call them so idk their actual name?)

cute: What did you get on your last birthday? LOTS OF FLOWERS! (i absolutely adore flowers), Jewelry to mark my 21st, money...

cutie pie: Most precious item you own? anything my grandparents have given me. My nonno bought me a vintage typewriter that i keep in my room that i love. 

daylight: Favourite album of all time? this is hard. the all time low weightless album is really special to me. The wicked broadway musical soundtrack too. Also the bts Young forever album has a very very special place in my heart.

dear: Zodiac sign? cancer!

doll: How do you like to dress? I wear a lot of jumpers, a lot of oversized clothes, and like loads of culottes- wide flare pants or dungarees. I tend to tuck my jumpers in to high waist jeans (If im wearing jeans they will always be high waist), or skirts. Also long flowy patterned dresses. My wardrobe is pretty made up of long flowy dresses. I also either wear all black or i live in very vibrant patterns- its one or the other! also i wear a lot of rings and earrings like all the time.

dreams: Do you want any tattoos? I want loadsssss of tattoos but just havent had the time to get any done yet!

euphoric: Talk about someone you love? My grandmother is the strongest, bravest most honest woman i have ever met. No one has so much love and care within their heart as this woman does. She is my everything. I go to her for everything and she will always listen to me, look after me and just be there when I need her. she is the type of person who will drop anything just to help someone out. She does so much for the people around her, she helps everyone no matter what. She’s been through so much in her life yet continues to power through and its really just inspirational to me. If i could give her the whole entire world, i would bc she deserves nothing less. 

fairy: Do you have a pet? I have a little doggo called rolo and he is just a sweet little old man who makes my heart melt. Honestly hes freaking precious and i dare anyone not to fall in love with him.

gem: who are your favourite tumblrs? I love a lot of bts based tumblrs but i feel sort of bad tagging them in this post coz its super long and im kinda shy ahahah. 

giggles: What is your aesthetic of choice?  i honestly dont even know? i dont really think i have one...

heart: silk or lace? ooof i think i look better in lace and i own more lace so...

honey: Coffee or tea? being italian living in england im so adjusted to both. Im a cappucino girl but i love tea. Both with milk and either 1 or 2 sugars depending on how im feeling.

hunnybunch: What sounds help you sleep? I actually sleep with earplugs in because i need like complete silence to sleep. The littlest sound and i stay awake!

kitty: Whats your favorite time of the day? I like the morning period from like 8:30-12:00 when i have nothing to do and can just send the time doing things i love!

ladybug: What’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad? when im sad i tend to listen to musicals. Like the Rent soundtrack is a big go to when im upset! musicals just generally evoke a lot of emotion out of me and that tends to make me feel better

love: Whats your favorite season and why? SPRING! (I actually really love all the seasons bc i think theres something relly beautiful about each one) but spring to me just feels bright? the weather starts to change, everything sort of shines, everything gets a bit more colourful and it always feels like a new start for me.

magic: what are five flaws you have?

I worry too much about everything all the time where i cant ever really enjoy myself

I struggle with my confidence a lot and tend to put myself down

I struggle to keep control of my life a lot

I dont think im great at meeting new people and i tend to give off a bad first impression

I overthink so much to the point where i can obsess for days over the tiniest detail.

moonlight:do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks? when i think about my wardrobe its literally a mix of all three. cool darks maybe?

munchkin: what do you look for in a significant other? really i just want someone who is kind-hearted, passionate, shares my interests and makes me smile.

paddywack: How would you describe a perfect date? i think its less about where i am and more about how i feel. A perfect date would be one where i cant contain my smile because the person i am with makes me feel so happy, where i cant help but blush every time my date looks at me because their eyes seem to twinkle and show me that they like me too. A perfect date would be one where theres never ending discussions and conversations, where i laugh so loud at something my date said, or they listen to every single word of what ive said and i can tell the were listening. I want to feel comfortable and secure, like my date wants to be with me.

precious: What is something valuable that you learned in your life? Someone elses success, is not your failure.

pretty: Do you like to cook or bake more? I honestly love to do both but baking is a big hobby of mine!

prince: How would you describe you handwriting? always changing, normally cursive, slants to one side

princess:do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play? I used to play piano. I’d love to play the guitar and also the harp would be super cool to learn

pumpkin: favorite fruit/veg? i love watermelon!!!!!! my fave veg is either broccoli, or brussel sprouts

rainbow: what was the last line of the last book you read? “always dancing in the sun. yes. yes. yes”

smitten: do you collect anything? Theater playbills, concert/show tickets, i take and collect polaroids and i also have a small collection of beach rocks and VW camper vans.

snuggle: what is your favorite candy? does chocolate count as candy?

starlight: What was your favorite show as a child? RECESS

soft: describe your favourite spot in your house? white walls decorates with lights, polaroids and patterned flags, anti war posters, a pinboard full of art, a whiteboard full of ‘to-dos’, plants, photoframes, ornaments, a flamingo, books upon books, a television nd the comfiest bed in the world...

toot: What is something you find unique about yourself? I think that i think in quite a unique way. I kind of talk and deduce and speak in a way that i dont think some people always understand.

treasure: What was something that made you smile today? I had dinner with my sisters and their boyfriends and i smiled a lot as we sat and talked. It was really nice.

whiffle: If you could have a magical power what would it be? Ive often wished i could read peoples minds or stop time. Maybe also heal people or change their state of emotion so they could always be happy. 

whiskers: Do you usually wear makeup? I love wearing make up and i find it kinda therapeutic to put on. I do tend to wear makeup everyday if im leaving the house.

wiggly: Are you a messy or tidy person? tidy. I love to clean, i love clean spaces, and i also love to organize.

wispy: do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older? my town is very cute and very lovely and as i grew up i dont think i ever truly appreciated how wonderful a town it is. That being said, with the dreams i have and the places i wanna go, my town is too small and i need to expand my horizons.

Thank you hun!!💜💜💜

[adambstingus]

Are You The One Season Finale Recap: Just Put Me Out of My Goddamn Misery (PART TWO)

Since everyone bitches and whines about how long my recaps are, I separated them into two parts. Pick up a book, you lazy pieces of shit and read part 1 here >>

Chuck is like, were not going to win so next match ceremony Im picking Britni and everyone is like Chuck and Alec start yelling at each other and having a food fight, which pisses off Alec more because hes a firm believer that you should never waste food.

Alec: WE SHOULD NEVER QUIT Chuck: Eat a dick dude

Chuck goes up to push Alec, which is a huge mistake surfer brah, and Alec shoves Chuck to the ground like hes made of paper. Alec, congrats, your ovaries have officially transformed into a small chode of a penis. Gotta start somewhere.

Britni is like You would shove Chuck, who btw looks like a Ken doll version of the lead singer of AFI, for money?! Thats some shit ONLY poor people would say. Britni, people have done way worse shit for way less money. Read a book, tune into the news, watch Empire (or read my recaps).

Rashida and Devin are like And I agree. I did not sit through 10 weeks of this retarded shit to watch yall give up.

Devin is like If I can get this fresh batch of mentally incapable humans to win this stupid fucking reality show, it would be equivalent to the greatest feat in sports history. Which sport? Speed walking? Turn on ESPN Devin, I fucking dare you.

Zak and Hannah are mourning the fact that they arent a match, and tbh, I am too.

Cheyenne is talking to Devin about how he is disrespectful and is like

Devin: (actual quote) Im a shit head, but not a total shit head. – I honestly dont even need to try and be funny for these recaps, they all say enough stupid shit where I dont even have to try.

THE GAME

Chuck is like, I was hammered last night and said dumb shit and Im going to actually play this thing. Thank god Chuck, otherwise I seriously would have cunt punted you, and your little dog too! (Britni)

The game is the easiest one of the season: its an obstacle course with girls sitting on their back. There is a true/false section, where if the team guesses it right, then they get 30 seconds off their time.

Zak and Kayla are in first, which is crazy because Zak might be the smallest out of all of them. Alec is terrible with this shit and is back to being a giant bitch.

Melanie and Tyler go to the true or false thing, where Mel admits she offered Chuck a threesome, which is a new low.

Kayla and Zak win, being the Italian stallions. Rashida and Devin get second and Mel/Tyler get third because they answered the question right- aka, Mel is a closeted freak.

Stacey is talking to Nelson about how she has no idea who her match is and shes talking so fast I could have sworn it was a Gilmore Girls episode. You can def tell Stacey is fucking hammered in this, but its cool. I love Stacey. And apparently so does Nelson. Okay whatever.

Meanwhile, Alec is flirting with Amanda and Kiki is like WTF. Which is literally her reaction to everything- WTF.

THE DATE

Theyre hanging out on fucking boat that doesnt even have a bar. That sounds like some Life of Pi shit.

Devin and Rashida are flirting and shes like except this shitty white guy with a butt chin.

Zak and Kayla are like you remind me of my family so they must be a match- some fucking Freudian shit right there. Chelsey the aspiring psychologist is probably fucking creaming her pants somewhere in the distance.

Tyler and Melanie are like, were besties and Tyler thinks thats code for match but Mel was like,

THE TRUTH BOOTH

The group makes a smart decision for once ,(they probably all broke out in hives afterwards because we all know they are allergic to brainpower), and send Zak and Kayla to the truth booth. Hannah is like Hannah save the stupid lines for Hunter please, babe.

Zak and Kayla make their way to the truth booth, looking like a set of fraternal twins walking into their grandmas 90th birthday. Not gonna lie, Im stressed right now. Im on bottle number 2 of wine, and shit is REAL rn.

Results are in and- THEYRE A PERFECT MATCH! YAAAAAAASSSS.

Everyone is screaming and jumping while Hannah is like, . Its okay Hanz, its not like these matches are real. Those rules arent even real! They were real that day I wore a vest!

Alec and Kiki are flirting and they are drunk AF and Kiki is like Shes talking about how she got stupid fucking matching bracelets for her perfect match and Im like

Devin is doing his shit math again using red solo cups, I feel like an algebra class is being taught in a frat house. Aka this shit is dumb AF.

They determine there are two scenarios- one where Kiki mtches with Alec, and one where she doesnt. Guess which one best friends forever bracelet Kiki wants?

The decide to use deductive reasoning and rationality.

Jk, they decide to flip a fucking coin. I CANT RIGHT NOW WITH YOU PEOPLE. Hunter is like Here is a quarter and ew, I dont trust anyone who has change offhand like that. Get a fucking debit card, you hillbilly fuck.

Kiki is upset because they get scenario one, but you know if the coin flipped for the scenario she wanted shed be like PERFECT! ITS ALL SETTLED, THIS COIN IS HOLY.

Tyler is like, Fuck your heart Tyler, fuck it. Austin is like WOAH you need to figure this shit out. Like I dont mean to sound aggressive, but if you fuck us all over were probs gonna stab you.

Never did I ever think that the game would rest in Tylers hands. Take a drink to that.

THE FINAL MATCH UP CEREMONY

Devin is like, there is a high possibility we lose- not high, almost definite. But he thinks they chose scenario one for a reason, that reason being a coin flip.

Ryan gives some speech about love and how they need it and its like, save it Ryan. Empire comes on in 20 minutes and I need to get this show on the road.

Austin is first and he picks Britni– basing it off the fact that he wanted a girlfriend who would be a ghost for most of their relationship and they would get together eventually when it was convenient. You know what thats called? A fuckbuddy. You came on a reality show to find a fuckbuddy. May I suggest Tinder next time?

Hunter is next, and Ryan is like, do you all have a strategy? And hes like clearly fate isnt on our side, so we decided to do a coin flip. So, fates not on your side, and you decided to rely on it again? Seems legit.

Ryan is like, And Connor and Chelsey are like

Hunter picks Hannah, which is a weird match but whatever I dont care anymore. Im gonna be honest, this whole season I thought Hunter was secretly gay.

Devin is up next and he picks Rashida. Rashida, girl, I have been praying for you. Clearly I am a sinner because my prayers have not been well received. My b.

Tyler is up next and were all on edge. Hes like I think Melanie is my match truly and this is the biggest plotline he has had all season, so hes rollin with it. Tyler ends up picking Cheyenne, and everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

Alec picks Amanda, and Kiki is like WTF (again). What is she gonna do with her bracelet?!!!!

Nelson picks Stacey and RyDev is like, And shes like, Okay, thatll work. Cant wait for an invite to the wedding.

Chuck is up next and gives an inspiring speech. Well, it would be inspiring if he wasnt talking to a band of idiots who put their fate in a coin toss and if he didnt look like a homeless folk singer.

Chuck picks Melanie. Shes like, well this sucks because well never date because hes still fucking Brittni. Maybe you can get that threesome you wanted, skank.

Kiki is last, and ends up alone, well, because her match is Mike. #tbt to Mike. LOL. She shows those bracelets to Ryan and Ryan tries so hard not to fucking vomit on her. Kiki is like I am not confident at all Mike is my match and honestly, ditto.

The beams and RyDevs dramatic hand motions begin. They get 4 beams, which they have never gotten before, so #progress..They get a 5th, then a 6th, then a 7th. Everyone is on edge as fuck, and I am stunned into complete silence at home. Even my boyfriend, who has migrated out of the room is whispering no fucking way to himself. Idk if he is saying that because hes surprised Im silent for once, or surprised that they just might actually win.

They get 8 OMG, They literally need one more to win the fucking game. Im shaking.

THEY GOT TEN BEAMS! THEY WIN THE FUCKING GAME.

MIRACLES HAPPEN (queue song from The Princess Diaries)

MTV IS THE LAND OF DREAMS

IM CRYING

IM SCREAMING, I FEEL THINGS

Okay, Im back. Wow Im hammered. So its made clear- either MTV is a magical place where miracles prevail, or this shit is staged AF. I mean, we all saw The Hills.

Wow, thats it for this season and this truly unique group of escaped mental patents. Thanks for reading, even though, lets be honest- I made your shitty Thursdays infinitely better. And to the cast who read and tweeted me, thanks for having a thick skin. Low key surprised I havent received a death threat from Britni by now. Good luck existing in the real world, you all are sure gonna need it. And if youre ever in California, come buy me a beer, because god knows I deserve one for putting up with your shit.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/are-you-the-one-season-finale-recap-just-put-me-out-of-my-goddamn-misery-part-two/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/178560286887

[lifestylebean]

New Post has been published on Lifestylebean

New Post has been published on http://www.lifestylebean.com/20-gifts-women-actually-want-valentines-day-2017/

20 Gifts Women Actually want for Valentine's Day 2017

We are able to understand the struggle to obtain the perfect gift on her let us be genuine, there’s nobody-gift-fits-all for each female personality available. To supply a hint of guidance,we are presenting you with a variety of gifts certain to please every lady, in the enthusiastic travelers to beauty buffs this Valentine’s.

If you are wishing to stray in the typical flowers and perfume for Valentine’s this season try not to know how to start, we have got your back.

We requested coworkers and buddies what they are truly wishing with this year, in the practical towards the extravagant. Whether you are getting her a unique keepsake or creating unforgettable recollections, we have put together gifts your spouse will really appreciate.

Get sentimental with a token from your first date.

Get sentimental with a token from your first date

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These minimalist prints from Redbubble are playful without feeling like they belong inside a college dorm room.

Make Her Laugh With a Memoir From Her Favorite Actress

Make her laugh with a memoir from her favorite actress.

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Certain to keep her laughing for several days, Amy Poehler’s recent memoir, “Yes Please,” is essential-read for each lady.

Had the experience, done that? Tina Fey, Lena Dunham, and Mindy Kaling have the ability to autobiographies she’s certain to love too.

Treat Her To a Relaxing SPA Day at Home

Treat her to a relaxing spa day at home

Source: – Lushusa | Buy it: Valentine’s Day collections from $15 to $100

Couple of situations are as pleasing than warm bath water following a lengthy day. And and among Lush’s curated gift boxes, that have from their signature bath bombs to massage bars to scented shower gel, your Valentine will discover everything she must unwind.

Show Her How Much You Care With Customized M&Ms

Show her how much you care with customized M&Ms

Source: – MyMms | Buy it: Gift boxes starting at $30

Step-up your Candy game with M&Ms tailored specifically for your spouse. You are able to personalize the colours and give a special message, like the names of places you’ve visited together or perhaps your pet names for one another.

Cheesy, yes, but also a cute way to show her how much you care.

Empower Her To Wear Her Favorite Mantra

Empower her to wear her favorite mantra

Source: – Speakable | Buy it: Starting at $30

Sometimes the easiest jewellery helps make the greatest impact. From “courageous” to “hope” to “courage,” a sleek necklace from Speakable allows your sweetie to proudly put on her words.

You may also choose a custom nameplate – “taken” or “loved,” possibly?

Surprise Her With a Spotless Apartment

Source: – Handy | Buy it: $35 for your first 2-hour appointment

Surprise your spouse by having an immaculate home, without either individuals getting to lift a finger. In the end, there is no greater feeling than returning home to some spotless apartment.

If you are in New You are able to, try Handy, an internet site that allows you to book an expert to wash – or come up with furniture or paint your family room – in a moment’s notice.

Help her make a statement with bold earrings

Source: – Baublebar

In case your sweetheart includes a bolder style, choose jewellery that demands to become observed. Think vibrant colors, daring shapes, and chunky designs.

We are fans of BaubleBar – these colorful earrings add instant sparkle to the outfit.

Skip The Flowers And Upgrade To a Long-Lasting Bonsai Tree

Skip the flowers and upgrade to a long-lasting bonsai tree

Source: – 1800flowers | Buy it: Starting from $40

Take a rest from flowers and purchase her a bonsai. Furthermore they love ages, they also represent the traditions of truth, goodness, and sweetness.

Bonuses when you get it sent to her office like a workday surprise.

For the fashion-obsessed, Buy a Nail Color That Will Make Every Day Feel Glamorous

buy a nail color that will make every day feel glamorous

Source: – Sephora | Buy it: $50 at Sephora

Even though you can not afford a set of killer Louboutin heels, your spouse can continue to showcase their signature red with this particular branded nailpolish.

Inspired the moment of the stiletto, the bottle itself is sufficient to make heads turn.

Help her stay warm with a luxe cashmere scarf

stay warm with a luxe cashmere scarf

Source: – Nordstrom | Buy it: $58 at Nordstrom

Offer her an additional layer of heat this winter season having a comfy cashmere scarf.

Nothing can beat the coziness of snuggling up to and including boyfriend, however a little bit of luxury is not a poor substitute meanwhile.

Spice up Her Apartment With a Fashionable Scented Candle

Spice up her apartment with a fashionable scented candle

Source: – Diptyqueparis | Buy it: Starting at $60

Every candle lover has lusted after votives from Diptyque at some point. Spoil your spouse having a luxurious scent that’s as trendy because it is aromatic – it is something she likely wouldn’t buy for herself.

Complete Her Kitchen With an Upscale Blender

Complete her kitchen with an upscale blender

Source: – Amazon | Buy it: $67 on Amazon

Whether your Valentine likes to prepare or simply enjoys a great smoothie, she’ll appreciate an excellent blender. This Quick Fix doubles like a mixer, and prepares food into single-serving mugs.

You may also give this practical gift an intimate twist by surprising her having a nights fun frozen cocktails. Margaritas, anybody?

She’ll never miss a flirty text with a case that keeps her phone charged all day

Never miss a flirty text with a case that keeps her phone charged all day

Source: – Mophie | Buy it: $79 – $119

Ideal for the lady who’s always on the run, a charging situation could keep her phone from ever not having enough juice.

Mophie’s “juice packs” are for sale to just about all smartphones and deliver as much as 130% extra extra battery power.

Capture every moment together with a camera that instantly prints photos

Camera that instantly prints photos

Source: – Urbanoutfitters | Buy it: $100 at Urban Outfitters

Turn any time right into a keepsake having a modern form of the once-ubiquitous Polaroid camera.

This small version from Fujifilm is simple to use, instantly spits out prints, and it is sufficiently small to consider anywhere, from the romantic dinner date for an adventurous vacation.

Keep Her Feet Warm With a Pair of Luxurious Slippers

Keep her feet warm with a pair of luxurious slippers

Source: – Uggaustralia | Buy it: $120 at Ugg Australia

Cozy enough to put on throughout the house, yet durable enough to help keep on for any quick errand, these Alena slippers from Ugg could keep her ft warm wherever she goes. She’ll be thanking you until spring.

Make her the most stylish girl in the office with a chic tote

Make her the most stylish girl in the office with a chic tote

Source: – Madewell | Buy it: $168 at Madewell

For that spouse who’s both stylish and practical, this Madewell carryall is the best everyday bag. Give a personal touch through getting it monogrammed together with her initials.

Encourage Her Inner Adventurer With a Camelbak Hydration Pack

Encourage her inner adventurer with a Camelbak hydration pack

Source: – Amazon | Buy it: Starting at $98 on Amazon

Strengthen your outdoorsy Valentine avoid dehydration throughout her hiking, biking, or climbing adventures.

A vintage Camelbak hydration pack makes remembering to consume water convenient and easy, and it has space to carry her other essentials.

Cook Her a Romantic Fondue Dinner

Cook Her a romantic fondue dinner

Source: – Amazon | Buy it: $48 on Amazon

What’s better still than having a home-made meal together? One which takes minimal effort to organize.

By having an at-home fondue package, all you need to do is add cheese (or chocolate!) and begin dipping. Skip the hrs of set-up and savor an indulgent night together.

Plan a romantic night she’ll never forget

Plan a romantic night she’ll never forget

Gifts will always be great, however a special night together is unforgettable. Treat your spouse to an unforgettable experience, for example dinner in a Michelin-appeared restaurant or perhaps a night inside a luxury hotel such as the Four Seasons.

Not sure where to go? Check out our list of the best restaurants in America. Tasting menus at NYC’s Le Bernardin — our top pick — start at $155 per person.

Splurge on a Posh Handbag She’ll Treasure Forever

Splurge on a posh handbag she’ll treasure forever

Source: – Chanel | Buy it: $4,400

Trust us – you cant ever fail having a classic purse such as this quilted bag from Chanel.

Climax certainly a splurge, a signature handbag is one thing she’ll use for many years in the future.

Bridesmaid Dresses That Are Just Perfect for a Valentine’s Day

Bridesmaid Dresses That Are Just Perfect for a Valentine’s Day

Source: – BridesmaidDesigners.net | Check out our list of the Starting at $119

The perfect valentine bridesmaid dress awaits you among hundreds of chic styles by the BridesmaidDesigners. Beautiful fabrics and nearly 200 color options let you mix and match dresses from all our collections!

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